not to be mean...

But if you're this stupid I've got your fortune right here.

Fortune shifter' might be a better way to describe the 63-year-old bleached blonde Hispanic woman who allegedly duped at least seven people out of more than $30,000 in Bluffton last month.

Four women and three men claim a woman they know only as 'Guadalupe' convinced each of them to give her thousands of dollars to use in a ceremony that would guarantee them good health, fortune and luck.

But instead of returning the money as promised, 'Guadalupe' apparently took her fortune and fled, deputies said.

The best though, is the police officer trying to be sanguine about it all, without also being condescending:

"She would say you've got a bad aura or ju-ju or whatever and this will help cleanse it," Calendine said.

The "or whatever" will get you every time. A reporter once told me his favorite quote ever from the paper was from the 16-year-old new bride of a guy who was then serving in the state legislature and in his mid-40s (he'd been appointed to the seat temporarily after the rep died). A reporter had asked what she saw in the guy and she'd responded, "He loves me 'n' stuff."