read a book: Peeps

While it may not be as handy as The Historian* for warily killing chihuahuas or bludgeoning intruders to death, I still say that if you read only one vampire novel this century it should be Scott Westerfeld's Peeps.**

Peeps is one of those extremely rare books wherein vampires lie that puts to bed the question of why there are so many damn vampire books. Of course there are: the subject matter's fascinating and fresh and funny. Oh wait, that's just this book. (And a precious few others.)

Anyway, here's the thing. If you like science (and who doesn't?), you'll love the parasitology interwoven throughout; for yes, there's even a new, logic-following explanation for vampires that's integral to the story. I kid you not!

And there's Cal, who really needs closure with his ex-girlfriends, because he's, you know, turned them into peeps (parasite positives). There's experts who may or may not be bad guys but give great dialogue,scary sekrit wall writing and even scarier big, oozing, sub-basement wrong things. FOR STARTERS. Did I even mention the Bahamalama-Dingdongs in your typical West Village bar? I'm tired or I'd at least attempt to be more articulate. What I'm saying is, it comes out today, in finer bookstores all over this land and you should just go buy it or order it up. Did I mention I read this straight through on a car trip (passenger seat) without once looking up or wanting to?

It's Peeps week, after all. Have you no respect for the sacred?

I rest my case.***

*656 pages
**320 lean and mean pages
***It's in the YA section and it looks like this: