who has half a drink? on black thursday?

Apparently, those of us who like to imbibe a little bit every day will suffer less of what is somewhat euphemistically called "brain fade." This is important news, because if you plan -- as I do -- to be one of those sharp-as-hell-on-wheels old women, you need every guarantee against "brain fade" you can get.

The study of more than 12,000 elderly women found that those who consumed light to moderate amounts of alcohol daily had about a 20 percent lower risk of experiencing problems with their mental abilities later in life.

"Low levels of alcohol appear to have cognitive benefits," said Francine Grodstein of Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, senior author on the study, published in today's New England Journal of Medicine. "Women who consistently were drinking about one-half to one drink per day had both less cognitive impairment as well as less decline in their cognitive function compared to women who didn't drink at all," Grodstein said.

You know what? I have my own scientific theory that really all these studies are concluding that you should have a couple, maybe even three or ten drinks every few days, and that then you'd live forever... but that the Scientific Establishment has decided to say "low levels" so no one will accuse them of just wanting to get a girl sozzled. Obviously, some courageous scientist needs to blow the lid off this one.

Someone get Margaret Atwood on the phone.

(Thanks, Robin!)