shaken & stirred

welcome to my martini glass


Things that I've heard on news channels that brought me to inadvertent laughter:

Connie Chung cuts away to some green, fuzzy footage of an "embedded" reporter trying not to piss himself and trying to narrate while there's fire being exchanged around him. He dives and the screen goes blank. Connie says, "John Williams had to duck, but he was unhurt."

John Williams had to duck...

(Remember, when you're mulling this -- the woman is married to Maury "I sold my soul to Satan and Jerry Springer got a better deal" Povitch.) (Which is just to say, she probably has a teenage lover and Maury has two and some day we could be watching them lob chairs at each other indulging their obvious love of trash culture.) (The pearls? What is it with the women who wear pearls? Barbara Bush anyone?)

The other thing, was a mosque in Deerborn, Michigan, where the CNN guy obviously thought the story he was doing was jubilant Iraqi-Americans. It was going just fine until he said, "So, you're obviously thrilled that Saddam is being attacked?" And the head of the mosque says, "Well, our feelings are mixed, seeing our country being bombed. But yes, we are glad to see Saddam go. It's about time the people who put him in power take him out!" This was repeated several times to the reporter's extreme panic, and the rest of the people there began to chant, "Saddam must go!" in the background. Cut back to the studio, where the anchor's even nervous and says, "A spirited group in Deerborn..." I'm paraphrasing, because I'm not a johnny-in-front-of-the-TV blogger, but pretty close to exactly this happened.

Why is that anything except pre-approved news freaks out reporters these days? Why did they agree to be "embedded"? Is there anyone who believes truely honest reporting will come from this? Or that any of these reporters will EVER be able to even honestly do a story on the military ever again?

Maybe if they have to duck enough. Funny how hard it is to even feign objectivity when the marines you're covering are the ones keeping you calm when it's the second hour with the gas mask on, I bet.

It seems like there was something else. But it's left me.

Christopher's not feeling well, coughing like a person who is coughing really hard (though the Robitussin my grandmother gave us from circia 1987 seems to work great), and he still intends to go on a 25 mile bike ride in the morning. Poor, misguided one. His story "Horsethieves and Preachermen" from Ideomancer is going to get an honorable mention in the Year's Best. Yay!

And I am tired. But the workshop will live for at least another month, and that's a good thing.

Ding dong, George is snoring. Time to go watch more "news."


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