To the people who found this site by searching for "naked George Clooney," "Gwenda Baker," "child beauty pageants," "ballerina ornaments," and "pictures of oops bond girls": I don't understand it either.

Stories like this one scare me a little. I wish the industry I have to be a part of if I really want to be a produced screenwriter wasn't full of such legendary assholes. Someone over on the Wordplay forums said that Donald Westlake coined the term "sacred monsters" for such people.

And, it's official, I'm doing an advice column for Lady Churchill's Rosebud Wristlet. I'm reprinting Gavin's official squib from the LCRW mailing list here, without permission:

"New Advice Column (If and When)

Starting later this year, we will have a new advice column by Ms. Gwenda Bond. Known for her warmth, smarts, and pragmatic and straight-talking advice, Ms. Bond takes over from Mr. H. Belloc, whose advice -- when it was given -- was unfailingly polite and rich in the wisdom of his years. We and his legion of fans say a fond farewell and thank you to Mr. Belloc for his
years of advice.

Ms. Bond's column will run in the magazine and perhaps online. She can be found somewhat regualrly online at http://bondgirl.blogspot.com/

Please send questions, problems, matters of the head and heart to info@lcrw.net with subject=Advice

We look forward to hearing from you."

So, send in your questions or send in someone else's questions or tell strangers to send in their questions or I "Hope you die!" (That's only funny if you go read the article about the sacred monsters.)