shaken & stirred

shaken & stirred has moved

2005-09-20T18:36:00.000-05:00

New URL: http://gwendabond.typepad.com/

New RSS feed: http://gwendabond.typepad.com/bondgirl/index.rdf

pssst! follow me...

2005-09-20T10:23:00.000-05:00

Blogger's been working my last nerve for the last bit, so I'm working on a move over to Typepad. It may happen very quickly, and I may completely botch the importing of posts and comments from here in such a way that this site disappears. If so, check in at:

http://gwendabond.typepad.com

Or hell, check in over there anyway. It's purty.

p.s. All right, let's just bite the bullet and do it. Maybe some kind soul will help with importing the old files (should they still exist). See you over there. Change your blogrolls!

p.p.s. Gilmore Girls Gossip Circle convenes there this week.

p.p.p.s. Seriously, I'm not moving for a looooong time -- because this costs money and stuff. Plus, it's so nice. Drop in and say hi.

wow

2005-09-20T08:39:00.000-05:00

Jonathan Lethem just won a MacArthur. (Thx to Reechard, for the heads up.) Holla!

monday hangovers

2005-09-19T05:14:00.000-05:00

And once again, she vows some real posts this week. (Possibly even later today -- possibly.)

Matt Cheney reveals his LBC nominee for this quarter, which was my own favorite (running a close second would be the Stern, but I must admit sheepishly that I didn't flat-out adore any of the books): Our Napoleon in Rags by Kirby Gann. I believe several of us will be dialoguing on this book the week of October 10.
And speaking of MC Matt Cheney, he has a review at SF Site of Rick Bowes' From the Files of the Time Rangers, something that is very much on my TBR list.
More Veronica Mars goodness: from Abigail Nussbaum and Chris McLaren. (I'm adding a UPN affiliate today.)
The most useless quiz in the world, via Brutal Women.

interrogating australians

2005-09-17T18:14:00.000-05:00

It's not as ominous as it sounds. Jeff VanderMeer interviews several Aussie writers, including Grace Dugan, Justine Larbalestier, Scott Westerfeld, Anna Tambour, K.J. Bishop and Geoff Maloney over the course of several posts. I'd excerpt, but you should really go over there and work your way through the whole thing. Excellent stuff. Although I'm disappointed no one said oi, let alone oi oi oi.

Start here and work your way through.

surely in a stack of magazines

2005-09-17T18:00:00.000-05:00

... or a fancy database, it exists.

Christopher has to write his first paper this weekend. It's on the title story from Chris Offutt's collection Out of the Woods. We've spent several fruitless hours today at various libraries looking for the Spring 1999 issue of Bookforum, which has a Rick Moody essay on the book. This seems to be the phantom issue. Does anyone have access to this in a way you can email/scan/fax? His paper is due Tuesday, so it would have to be this weekend.

Anyway, y'all are magic, so I figured it was worth a shot. Shoot me an email if you can help.

weekend hangovers

2005-09-17T11:04:00.000-05:00

I'm really liking the new Sigur Ros. And second Jonathan Strahan on the Eels' double album. I've also been listening quite a bit to M83's double album. It's the year of the trancey double album! Except that in terms of sound of the year for me personally, it may well turn out to be She Wants Revenge.
Strahan also posts some more SF opening lines, but this time not from short stories. (p.s. for Mr. McLaren: you might want to scroll down a few entries; there's something about a new Tim Powers...)
Meghan McCarron posts some delightful lyrics from her "lesbian musical short," inspired by (H)Al Duncan's Musical Interlude.
Joss Whedon to guest on Veronica Mars. (Via Didi.)
"The Big Chill in 30 second with bunnies." (Via Jeff.)
Congratulations to Cecil on the debut of her first feature film HAPPY IS NOT HARD TO BE. Have you read her novel yet?
Mark's excellent entry on the inherent dangers of bicycling. Especially when people mow down bicyclists (sometimes on purpose -- I know it strains credulity, but it's happened several times here in the past couple of years) and drive away.
And finally, the GilmoreGossipCircle regenerates. Yay!

Back later, now for the bathing and writing.

another title revealed!

2005-09-16T18:24:00.000-05:00

The Rake posts about a nominee for this round of the LBC -- and the author has some SF connections.

I do still promise more substantial posts, btw, probably over the weekend. New glasses worked out fine.

now that is a basketball player

2005-09-15T20:56:00.000-05:00

Meet Kara Lawson of the Sacramento Monarchs. She's a joy to watch on the court.

This is basketball. Y'all can have the NBA.

(Pssst... the second finals game is on right now. ESPN2.)

(Justine's in San Miguel de Allende -- someone's gotta post about sports.)

Updated: So, the Monarchs totally blew it in overtime, but what a game. The third game on Sunday will be back in Sacramento and I can't wait.

thursday hangovers

2005-09-15T18:13:00.000-05:00

Sorry that none of the promised Actual Posts have materialized. It's been a week of tiny annoyances. Yesterday morning, I realized that one of my contacts was torn. This created way more angst than it logically should, I know, but the fact remains: I am blind as a fucking bat. My contacts cost a fortune and last approximately a year. It takes two weeks to get a new one made. My glasses are huge and thick and make my head hurt if I wear them too long. I have had contacts since I was in third grade and have never torn one.

Argh.

So, visit one to the eye doctor (a new guy): yay, good news, my previous prescription was wrong. (Unless this one turns out to be. Oh, life, you have a sick sense of humor, should it be so.) Did I mention that those guys charged about three times what the new guy charges? I wasn't able to actually get a new pair of glasses to tide me over -- or even order contacts -- until today, because we had to leave early for the first night of the class C's teaching. And hey, I don't even have the glasses yet. I go pick them up in twenty minutes or so. Cross your fingers.

Should these glasses make me able to actually see without creating a sense of vertigo, I'll write some posts. Swear and double swear.

A few linksies in the meanwhile:

Visit the new semi-quarterly review of poems and such (and submit) Garbanzo. Their editorial policy is thus:
Editorial content is not the responsibility of the editors. Now that's a tune I can dance to...

Brazilian superheroes make me happy, when skies are blue. (Via Alan, who's got things to say to Mr. Keillor about his late nonsense (Remember a few weeks ago when that Ky. public radio station briefly dumped his poetry thingies for content reasons? Oh, the irony...).) There's also superheroes from lots of other countries on that site, including The Golem from Israel.

Birnbaum vs. George Saunders. Yay! If the current Birnbaum didn't do such a great job, I'd say the world needs more Birnbaums.

The link between methheads and arrowheads?

Niall Harrison on Vellum.

Christopher makes with the stumping with a fine collection of old and new first lines of great SF and fantasy short stories. How many can you get?

Lastly: Go Monarchs!

read this!

2005-09-15T05:46:00.000-05:00

And the fall LBC Read This! pick is announced (along with plans for the coming weeks): The Angel of Forgetfulness by Steve Stern.

I'll have more to say later today. For now, go read Dan Green's recommendation.

help some kids

2005-09-14T05:16:00.000-05:00

Frequent contributor to Bookslut Colleen Mondor writes with news of a very worthy relief effort she's involved in. Support it if you can:

I am working with a group in Baton Rouge who are helping children sheltered with their families at Southern University. We have put together a couple of wish lists of books and games that the folks at Parkview Baptist Church will happily deliver to the SU kids and other area shelter kids.

Colleen will also take direct donations and get them to the right people, so if you want to contact her directly shoot me an email and I'll pass along her contact info.

lesser known editing marks

2005-09-13T20:18:00.000-05:00

I like the hatchet and the wishbone best. Via the birthday girl at Number One Hit Song.

the new & improved gilmoregossipcircle

2005-09-13T17:33:00.000-05:00

Getting up to write at 5 a.m. = HARD

Anyway, it's a whole new season. Let us gather and be merry. Remember, the last lines of the previous season were: "Will you marry me?" "What?"

Tonight's ep is "New and Improved Lorelai." The WB sez:

Picking up on the same night as last season's finale, Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and Luke (Scott Patterson) begin making plans for their future, but Luke (Scott Patterson) is embarrassed when word spreads that Lorelai was the one who proposed. Still hurt over Rory's (Alexis Bledel) decision to drop out of Yale and move in with Emily (Kelly Bishop) and Richard (Edward Herrmann), Lorelai tells her parents that they can take care of Rory from now on. Richard hires an old friend and respected attorney (guest star Robert Foxworth, "Falcon Crest") to help Rory get an easy sentence for stealing the yacht, but the judge gives Rory 300 hours of community service. Logan (Matt Czuchry) throws Rory a "felon" party.

Yanic Truesdale, Liza Weil and Sean Gunn also star. Amy Sherman-Palladino wrote and directed the episode.

Discuss after.

tuesday hangovers

2005-09-13T05:16:00.000-05:00

I woke up in the middle of the night with She Wants Revenge's "Out of Control" worming its way through my head. That is some catchy shit.

Jennifer Crusie (who I really have to read sometime; too many smart people are into her work for it not to be good) on planning a career as a writer. (Via Stephanie Burgis.)

Buy a Friend a Book Week, coming October 1. (Via Morrow Planet.)

Abigail Nussbaum on The Baroque Cycle.

Jeff Ford on Anna Tambour's Spotted Lily.

Sarah on being a good panel moderator.

Cynsations has a short interview with the wonderful writer MT Anderson, on his new book Whales on Stilts (want!). (Excerpt here.) How can you resist an interview which ends thus:

Frankly, I can't stand rendering fats in the cold of the Antarctic. That intense chill just makes me want to return to my sleigh and flee to someplace warm, like the jungles of Thailand -- a pung-ward pang, or even, I suppose, a pung-ward, Ping-ward pang.

As you can see, if there are any psychological challenges to writing, I am clearly not up to them.

froggy

2005-09-12T15:51:00.000-05:00

You are Kermit the Frog.
You are reliable, responsible and caring. And you
have a habit of waving your arms about
maniacally.

FAVORITE EXPRESSIONS:
"Hi ho!" "Yaaay!" and
"Sheesh!"
FAVORITE MOVIE:
"How Green Was My Mother"

LAST BOOK READ:
"Surfin' the Webfoot: A Frog's Guide to the
Internet"

HOBBIES:
Sitting in the swamp playing banjo.

QUOTE:
"Hmm, my banjo is wet."

What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

(Via E Lockhart.)

she's back

2005-09-12T05:38:00.000-05:00

Well, that was nice, so nice that I'm cutting my hiatus a couple of days short. Why? Because I love. Because I would not miss the first GilmoreGossipCircle meeting of the season (tomorrow night). I don't know that posting levels will spike around here this week, but I do plan posts on:

The Girl in the Glass by Jeff Ford
Twins by Marcy Demansky
Someone Comes to Town, Someone Leaves Town by Cory Doctorow
The process of reading for the latest LBC pick, due to be announced Thursday, with the other nominated titles divulged shortly thereafter (lots of exciting posty goodness plans for this round, so really, tune back in and hopefully you won't be disappointed)
Abraham Lincoln's drinking habits
Etc.

(oh, to be in new york no. 210)

2005-09-05T08:56:00.000-05:00

To see this exhibit.

(Photo caption:
"The Medium Ferihummer With a Materialization," 1923, by an unknown photographer.)

Watch the slide show.

p.s. We got cell phones. Send us your numbers if we don't have them already.

(yay!)

2005-09-04T21:58:00.000-05:00

Michael Dirda reviews Paul Park's latest:

A Princess of Roumania progresses slowly, but Park has much he wants to show us along the way. Virtually all the characters are surprisingly complex, true mixes of light and dark, often unsure of what they're doing, suffering both mischance and, less often, good fortune. In the end, just the wrong person comes into possession of Kepler's Eye, an amulet imbued with a shocking power.

Miranda's story will continue next year in The Tourmaline . In the meantime, A Princess of Roumania should be enough to soften the blow of summer's end. At the least it provides an escape from -- or is it to? -- the "real" world.

Oddly for Dirda, the review is mostly spent in plot summary. So I actually just suggest you read the book for yourself rather than the review.

Now I go back to reading Jeff Ford's wonderful new The Girl in the Glass. (An Editor's Choice in this week's NYTBR.)

(The parentheses around the post heading mean I'm _still_ on hiatus, only whispering to you every now and then when I can't stand not to.)

one year ago today

2005-09-03T10:57:00.000-05:00

(Back to hiatus.)

break time

2005-09-01T18:21:00.000-05:00

I've been burning the candle at both ends lately, working too hard, not getting enough sleep or rest, or writing done, etc. Today I had a scary fainting spell from dehydration at work (long story: don't worry, I'm fine and taking in mucho fluids). I'm officially taking that as an edict from my body to slow down and take some time off. So I'll be back posting here mid-month, in time for the next LBC pick. I reserve the right to poke my head in every once and awhile, but I need a blogcation, to get other things done and just take a general break. Not that I've been wowing you guys with the great posts lately. I'm sure I'll see you around the backblogs and I do plan to actually respond to email for a change. If anyone is desperate to guest blog, drop me a line.

Meanwhile, just like everybody else, I urge you to give what you can to Katrina relief.

ETA: Popping in just to say, check out the Antigeist's analysis of the comparison between 9/11 and Katrina.

...

2005-08-30T19:28:00.000-05:00

Absorbed by news sources and the horrors on the Gulf Coast. The best compendiums I've seen are Terry and OGIC's indispensible Live From Katrina page, which they've been continuously, admirably updating, and Ed's continuing installments of links to developing news. I've also been keeping a close eye on the Times-Picayune's breaking news page, but they've now apparently been evacuated from the building so it's unclear whether there will be more updates. There's nothing to say, except I wish I believed in miracles: that this would all be over soon and a great many people's lives wouldn't be in disarray as a result. I wish.

weekend hangovers, now with more allergens

2005-08-28T14:39:00.000-05:00

Your trusty BondGirl is experiencing some hellacious allergies and has given up trying to do anything but monitor the weather channel's to do over Katrina (be safe, coastal kids), finish up the LBC reading and eat the occasional chunk of spectacularly beautiful Italian plum and sage focaccia from our local farmer's market. Again, if you've written me and I owe you email, I apologize and will be trying to dig myself out of the email hole over the next week or so. Once that's done, I'll likely be taking a two week or so rest period from the blog to finish up the book, which is demanding more time be made for it.

Anyway. The Grimm Brothers is a terror of mediocrity, all the more sad because it could and should have been wonderful. We also finally got around to watching The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, which was the perfect anecdote; I loved it even more than I expected to. I disagree with all those who felt this movie wasn't up there with Rushmore or Royal Tenenbaums: it is.

Two of the very best YAs of the year, Holly Black's Valiant and Cecil Castellucci's Boy Proof, have made the Book Sense Fall Kids Picks. (Eagle-eyed literaconteurs will note Dale Peck being recommended to the 9-12 set. It's never too early for "My First Altercation While Lunching.")

Darby over at Thumb Drives & Oven Clocks wants answers: Google comes up blank when you search for the phrase "literary representations of motion". This is a hole that I'd like to see filled, and I'm drawing a total blank. So I turn to you, oh vast, infinite, sexy Internet, and ask: where have you seen motion best depicted in fiction? (Or, really, in any written form; but I really want examples drawn from fiction, for reasons I can't quite explain.)

Jeff Ford's new book The Girl in the Glass (gorgeous cover, huh?), which I can't wait to read, is reviewed in this week's NYTBR, quite favorably--even if he is a bit bemused by some of the reviewer's reading. This reminds me that I've forgotten to point out something so long you probably already know it by now: Jeff has a new livejournal, worth checking out for a number of reasons, not least for the chupacabra update. (Chupacabra story here.)

Tricksy dictionary and encylopedia makers.

Best road signs ever. (Via Holly Black.)

Ben posts an overdue and hilarious little WordCon report, complete with Plaus Fab Hugo Award snippet:

My "A Discourse on the Nature of Causality, With Air-Planes", lost the Victor Hugo Award for Best Plausible-Fable With Philosophical Aspirations, to the marvelous "Djinni Wallet" of Lelly Kink. Lelly and I sat in the auditorium with Soma-With-The-Paintbox-In-Printer's-Alley, a jovial and clever, if somewhat tragic, figure. Soma was some kind of delegate or prisoner of the gargantuan rogue Wisdom Regent of Tennessee, Athena Crowe, whose excellent autobiographical vignette I had expected to win in our category.

It is always a dangerous thing for an office-holding political figure to become a writer, and there seemed to be a not insignificant chance that poor Soma would be eaten ("refactored" was the euphemism employed, I believe) for his audacity in failing to bring home a little silver rocketship; our concerns for him being somewhat allayed, however, by the competence and spirit of his wife Gwenda-With-The-Martini-Glass-And-.25-Beretta-In-Garter, who had a plan.

Pointers to some excellent, recent fiction online over at Short Form -- all worth checking out, and reminded me about the Saunders.

Abigail Nussbaum with more excellent recommendations, this time of short books that pack a wallop. Her recs will make you happy, but not give you hand pain: what more can you ask for?

And a quick reminder: Tomorrow's Kate Atkinson's drop-by at the LBC. The Fall selection will be announced September 15 and hopefully things will pick back up over at the site. Back to the blankety blank reading that goes along with all that....

circus girl

2005-08-28T14:26:00.000-05:00

Modern, Cool Nerd 78 % Nerd, 69% Geek, 30% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)! Congratulations!

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test

(Via the Slush God.)

"Promise Her Anything, But Give Her Gwenda."

2005-08-26T16:15:00.000-05:00

Slogan generator. More amusing than it probably should be.

Some of my favorites, with friends' names:

Christopher-Lickin' Good.
Thank Christopher It's Friday.
A Finger of Richard is Just Enough to Give Your Kids a Treat.
My Doctor Says 'Barb'.
Hungry? Why Wait? Grab a Ted.
Kids Will Do Anything For Gavin. (Ed. Note: My favorite.)
Every Kelly Helps.
Naughty, but Karen. (Ed. Note: Or maybe this is my favorite.)
Don't Leave Home Without Alan.
151 Countries, One Kristin.
Sharing the Melissa of your Life.
Happiness is a Cigar Called Justine. (Ed. Note: Nope, THIS is my favorite.)
For a Hard-Earned Thirst, Peeps. (Ed. Note: Now that's just creepy.)

And I better stop.

mind control words

2005-08-25T20:26:00.000-05:00

The always interesting Jon Carroll starts off a column talking about Cory Doctorow's latest*:

To be candid, Cory Doctorow sometimes gives me the creeps. I admire his writing and all, but ... see, I am reading his book about a guy whose father is a mountain and whose mother is a washing machine. Three of his younger brothers are nesting dolls and they live inside each other, in the way of nesting dolls. In fact, they need to be inside each other so that all of their digestions work properly. When one of them goes missing, bad stuff happens fast.

This is actually the least interesting part. The column evolves into a discussion on how Carroll's view of words has changed over time, and what their true power may be.

(Via Jed.)

*Definitely on the TBR list; I hear good things.

read a book: Peeps

2005-08-24T23:01:00.000-05:00

While it may not be as handy as The Historian* for warily killing chihuahuas or bludgeoning intruders to death, I still say that if you read only one vampire novel this century it should be Scott Westerfeld's Peeps.**

Peeps is one of those extremely rare books wherein vampires lie that puts to bed the question of why there are so many damn vampire books. Of course there are: the subject matter's fascinating and fresh and funny. Oh wait, that's just this book. (And a precious few others.)

Anyway, here's the thing. If you like science (and who doesn't?), you'll love the parasitology interwoven throughout; for yes, there's even a new, logic-following explanation for vampires that's integral to the story. I kid you not!

And there's Cal, who really needs closure with his ex-girlfriends, because he's, you know, turned them into peeps (parasite positives). There's experts who may or may not be bad guys but give great dialogue,scary sekrit wall writing and even scarier big, oozing, sub-basement wrong things. FOR STARTERS. Did I even mention the Bahamalama-Dingdongs in your typical West Village bar? I'm tired or I'd at least attempt to be more articulate. What I'm saying is, it comes out today, in finer bookstores all over this land and you should just go buy it or order it up. Did I mention I read this straight through on a car trip (passenger seat) without once looking up or wanting to?

It's Peeps week, after all. Have you no respect for the sacred?

I rest my case.***

*656 pages
**320 lean and mean pages
***It's in the YA section and it looks like this:

hangovers

2005-08-24T21:30:00.000-05:00

Did you hear about this year's Romance Writers of America Awards? An account, just in case. (Via MOLES.)

Laura Miller hearts Magic for Beginners. Speaking of which, The Believer review is excellent.

Cecil Castellucci bravely not only rereads her teenage diary, but shares a snippet:

Ian McGowan was not this type at all and I transcribe for you a note I wrote on 2/20/1985 to my best friend (at the time) Cordelia. Ian was Irish and Waspy. He was punk as fuck, had a mohawk, got jaundice once, drank like a fish, and most importantly, gave me a copy of Cyrano de Bergerac, which I slept with under my pillow for 6 months. As you can see, for those in the know, DH was not the only boy who had my heart in 1985. It is safe to say, my heart was a whore.

Dear Cordelia,

If I don't see Ian today I'll definitely die. I need to see him. Now I feel dumb if he knows that I like him, but gosh it's like I (don't) want to marry the boy. It's not love, it's strong like. Now I feel like such a burn out and I'm not even burned out. It's fucking pathetic. I've decided that I hate great students in frnch because they just called the two 99% students out of the room and it's like I can speak french circles around them. Put me in France and I won't need a fucking dictionary. And she knows it. Fuck her. Fuck this school. i don't think I'm coming in tomorrow but I have to because I have 3 tests Friday. Monday, I'm not coming in. We'll meet and do something. Rather, we'll go to B.H.S. (SCREAM!) Definitely we can arrive at like 1:00 and hang out. God that sounds so appealing to me. I wish that I was tall and lanky. Instead, I'm short and lanky. But at least I'm in proportion now. You know I hope they (Pete, Sean and Ian) like the B-day cake. I was going to ask what flavor they liked and we went on a tangent. But see! I can't just ASK!!!!!!

Love Cecil

All my teenage journals of heart ache and break (with healthy doses of pretension and bitchiness thrown in, I'm sure), were consumed by a fire. Between you and me, I've always been kind of glad about that particular part of the fire, but reading that makes me almost wish I could go find them.

Barry Goldblatt on query letters. Query letters are hell.

Hurree reprints a letter from Vandana Singh.

Whoopsie, someone watched the car commercial. (Chicha's back: yay!)

Remember the LitBlog Co-op? Kate Atkinson will be guest blogging there on Monday, August 29. Submit yer questions but not comments now. And there'll be a whole new title recommended shortly. Which reminds me to stop typing and go back to reading.

swamped

2005-08-24T16:46:00.000-05:00

Er, sorry about that. Back later with some posts.

In the meantime, go read the new M. Rickert story ("Anyway") that's rocking SciFiction this week.

You'll feel better afterward. Swear.

(Via the home of the secret crush.)

p.s. Yes, I owe you email. Tons of email. I am the rudest human being whoever lived. I'm not even going to pretend I'll be truly catching up soon. September. Soonest.

happy dorothy parker's birthday

2005-08-22T05:15:00.000-05:00

Now this should be a national holiday. Mrs. Parker would be 112, if she were still alive.

Why not read her Paris Review interview to celebrate? Meanwhile:

Résumé

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

the only review of lunar park you must read this year

2005-08-21T09:35:00.000-05:00

(Well, except Rake's and Lizzie Skurnick's.)

Liz Hand is one of my favorite reviewers and she takes a look at the book for the WaPo this week:

Ellis has an obvious familiarity with and a real affection for the standard tropes of supernatural fiction. He's admitted that as a boy he read Stephen King's Salem's Lot at least a dozen times. No shame there, and if Ellis had stuck to a single supernatural trope, he might have written a genuinely scary book. Instead, he tosses together so many hoary genre elements that the novel begins to resemble a middle-aged yuppie rehash of a Hammer Horror film, less The Turn of the Screw than "Heart of Dorkness." There's the ghost of Bret's monstrous, violent father, whom Ellis claimed was the inspiration for the serial-killer protagonist of American Psycho . There are little Sarah's evil toy (the Yerby), a post-Halloween haunting of Bret and Jayne's house at 307 Elsinore Lane, croaking ravens, disemboweled pets, mysterious computer messages, things clawing at the bedroom door, child abductions, a hardboiled detective and even a psychic investigator.

The bio tag mentions that her novel Generation Loss is forthcoming. She talked a little about it in an interview with Science Fiction Weekly after the release of Mortal Love:

I'm working on a new novel with various working titles; today it's Generation Loss. It's a contemporary fantasy set on New York's Lower East Side and the Maine archipelago. Thematically it's similar to my most recent work, stuff like "The Least Trumps" and "Wonderwall"—Art changes reality, Desire changes reality. It's about a photographer, a punk provocateur somewhat in the Cindy Sherman/Robert Mapplethorpe mold; and it's about desire and the creation of art, a version of the myth of Eros and Psyche.

My prose style has altered pretty radically in the last few years, since completing Mortal Love—for whatever reason, I'm writing in a more stripped-down, elliptical fashion. I don't really seem to fit into the mainstream of genre writers, and I certainly don't fit into the mainstream of mainstream writers. But "The Least Trumps" made it onto the shortlist for The Best American Short Stories (as did several other stories from that issue of Conjunctions), and that kind of psyched me up to do more stuff in that vein. And so the last few stories I've written—"Wonderwall," which was in Flights; "Echo," which will be in Fantasy & Science Fiction; "Kronia," which will be in Conjunctions next spring—they're quite different from my earlier work. They're far more self-revelatory, for one thing. And they're also almost impossible for me to describe. "Kronia" is very short, only 1,500 words, which is about as far from my usual work as you can get—that's, like, the length of an average Liz Hand sentence! But it's exciting. I wrote these things and I honestly didn't know if they were any good, or even publishable: They were so different from anything else I'd done. It felt risky, even frightening, to show them to anyone, let alone to an unknown reader, but I decided that maybe that sense of risk is a good thing. I'd like to extend this elliptical prose style to Generation Loss. It expands, thematically, on the same issues I examined in "The Least Trumps," though there's no overlap of characters. And the new novel riffs on two of my favorite movies, Michael Powell's I Know Where I'm Going and Carol Reed's surreal Odd Mann Out (the film Reed made right before The Third Man). Generation Loss takes one of its epigraphs from Roland Barthes: "I then realized that there was a sort of link (or knot) between Photography, madness, and something whose name I did not know. I began by calling it: the pangs of love." That's the knot I'll be unraveling for a while to come.

The words can't wait seem appropriate.

See also: Tingle Alley's post on Lunar Park, complete with link to Bret Easton Ellis vs. Katie Couric.

ellen datlow is on flickr

2005-08-19T17:14:00.000-05:00

No one is safe!

(Actually, lots of fun WorldCon photos, go see.)

(My favorite is actually this one of me and Kelly, being coached to look natural.)

wish

2005-08-18T16:55:00.000-05:00

Mr. Richard Butner, aka Megatherium Americanum, a happy happy birthday. Now.

Or wish him a happy birthday, then go read his awesome story House of the Future.

interviewy goodness

2005-08-17T21:19:00.000-05:00

Stephany Aulenback's long-awaited interview with Ms. Link is up at Maud Newton.com. Go see:

Writing is a conversation. (I’ll probably say this again at some point.) I need to be reading in order to be writing. This year I’ve typed out a couple of stories by other writers, partly for work-related reasons, but also so that I could get a closer look at how other writers put sentences together. How they structure a plot. I was typing out stories by writers who write very differently from me, and I loved doing this. I’d never looked at other people’s work so closely, or had so much admiration for how a sentence or a paragraph or a scene is constructed. It was a way to slow down my reading speed, and I also found that after I’d been typing out someone else’s story, it felt as if there was less of a barrier when I sat down to do my own work.

And the questions are really great too; which is only to be expected as Aulenback is a fantastic writer in her own right, as they say, and you should go check out her stuff -- especially don't miss her Grim Stories.

(Via the lovely Found White Kitty.)

tuesday hangovers

2005-08-17T05:21:00.000-05:00

Lauren on babies, or "The Next Great American Divide." (You have blogrolled and RSSed Lauren, right?)

Dave highly recommends Hal Duncan's Vellum: Vellum is one of those books. It's so good that after I finished it, at 2 AM after a long day, I couldn't fall asleep. I felt so challenged by this book, as a reader and a writer, that I simply couldn't let it go that easily. And now, four days later, I still haven't digested it fully. Sold! Can't wait to read this...

Speaking of Hal Duncan, I really liked what he had to say on the whole self-indulgence issue, and not just because he used the words "poncy git": The critic may well be right. The book may be deeply flawed, it's aesthetic balance way off, because the writer's just plain failed to pull off what they were trying to do. But the word "self-indulgent" doesn't communicate that any more than calling the writer a poncy git does. And as an accusation of a lack of self-awareness on the author's part, of selfishness and unfounded pride even, it's about as personal as that sort of name-calling.(Though it didn't hurt.)

Great writing post from Elizabeth Bear, a snippet: Here's what I think about talent. It's true: some people have more than others. And I suspect if one is going to make it as a writer, one walks in with a free card. One thing you can do coming out of the gate. One aspect of the tremendous interwoven craft of writing that you're naturally good at. It may be worldbuilding or plot or voice or language or structure or theme. Something you do right, from day one.

Here's a secret. Once you reach a certain level of competence, books and stories sell because of what you do right, not because of what you don't do wrong. You want to talk about what J.K. Rowling does wrong? We can talk all week.

Patrick Samphire bravely attempts the impossible: explaining cricket.

This is one of the stupidest things I've ever seen. Using Cameron Diaz and Angelina Jolie as examples of women getting lovelier with age is ridiculous. Why not throw in some Holly Hunter or Annette Bening or Frances McDormand action?

Alan DeNiro is a very smart man: It’s a “profession” that is largely abandonware now. Sure (to continue the imperfect metaphor), it’s fun to download the emulators for systems gone by–the gameplay’s still solid–and yet always there’s a melancholy that goes with the nostalgia. Different models for different times. (I remember buying Zork in K-mart.)

And yet with each passing year living in the old professional-writer model, the more energy that one expends in pretending that the genre pie is larger than it actually is. And expending that energy kind of becomes a hobby in of itself. From my perspective it’s a pretty crappy hobby. I’m not being anti-money per se, but rather pro-reality (no pun intended, seriously).

Christopher got his classes. Yay!

tilda swinton, call your agent

2005-08-16T21:13:00.000-05:00

What are you DOING in Constantine?!

(Back tomorrow with real content. Maybe.)

the librarian tango, pt. 2

2005-08-15T20:08:00.000-05:00

So it's less than 100,000-and-eleventy degrees outside, for a change, though still relatively sticky. Seemed like the perfect excuse for an after-dinner walk. By the time we got down to the library, we were ready to go inside in the nice and cool. We browsed for awhile, collecting a slightly insane amount of books and one DVD (slightly insane because we'd brought no bag to carry things in). I also remembered I had a book on hold--Sarah Dunn's The Big Love, which I've heard lots of good things about and been meaning to read for ages--but I'd forgotten my library card. We asked our friendly librarian if he could help us out. "If I'm going to bend the rules for people I don't like on a routine basis, may as well bend it for someone I do." He proceeded to magic me all my books, cardless, the one on hold and the ones I'd collected. AND he's aready ordered the new Alex Wilson graphic omnibus Tricked so we can take it out. (I think most of you are familiar with my love of Box Office Poison: a really great sitcom for smart people, in graphic novel form.) Meanwhile, friendly librarian two was demurely turning down his sister-in-law's request to "renew my book just one more time" and finding a book on oil for Mr. Rowe.

I love our library.

Besides The Big Love, I took out The Wisdom of Crowds, Vanishing Point by David Markson, and 98 Reasons for Being by Claire Dudman (I love me some Struwwelpeter). Lots of other reading to do in the meantime, but still, with these, the LBC books and the books I came home from Worldcon with (not to mention Lydia Millet's Oh Pure and Radiant Heart, which is very lose to the top of the stack), I am a very happy girl.

Except for the damn makes-reading-and-writing-torturous hay fever. From my burning eyes to yours.

monday hangovers

2005-08-15T16:52:00.000-05:00

Franny D of Ghost Word chronicles the agents panel at Squaw Valley. Michael Carlisle of Inkwell Management divulged the following five commandments:
1) Thou shalt be original
2) Thou shalt be smart
3) Thou shalt be resilient
4) Thou shalt ask questions
5) Thou shalt not pay reading fees

Stephanie Burgis shares some interesting research for a new book: For instance, under the 19th-century reign of Emperor Francis I of Austria,

Books would often be licenced for sale only to those who carried a certificate guaranteeing their impermeability to new ideas.* (go there for source and more fun facts)

The Golden Age of Sassy. (Via Number One Hit Song.) Just the covers make me feel nostalgic.

The Millions recommends The Wisdom of Crowds by James Surowiecki.

Holly and Theo Black have been making their way through the entirety of Buffy. There was a little conversation about viewing massive amounts of Buffy at a Saturday evening mini-party at Worldcon, prompted by my embarrassing recollection of an episode (with title even) that turned out to be one I'd dreamed. It's one of the many dangers of falling into the Buffyverse until you're all caught up: you may start to have extremely detailed dreams there. Also, this post makes me laugh.

Odd door. (Via MeFi.)

Newsweek online chats with Jane Yolen. Do you test out your books on your own kids and grandkids? My husband and my writing group are the first ones to see my books. Children may be a great audience, but if they really want your attention, they'll tell you what you want to hear. Besides saying "Yuck" and "I didn't like it" or "I loved it," their critical vocabulary is not up to what I need for rewriting a book.

Cory Doctorow raves about Peeps, Scott W's latest brilliance in form of book. Check it out. As soon as possible. (I plan a little review of this too in the very near future, along with A Princess of Roumania, and any other especially wonderful book I've recently read but am forgetting about. In the midst of much hush-hush litblog co-op reading at the moment.)

I am dying of allergies. Possibly.

viewings

2005-08-14T21:11:00.000-05:00

Movies recommended (2):

Aventurera, finally seen after being netflixed ages ago off Daniel Handler's sterling recommendation in Slate's 2004 culture wrap-up:

This year, the greatest film in the entire world was released on DVD. The film, Alberto Gout's Aventurera, was made in Mexico in 1950. It is the greatest film in the world. If I could, I would force you to see it. Once I saw it with my friend Matt, who was jet-lagged and fell asleep halfway through so I jabbed him in the ribs, hard, to wake him up. Once I saw two showings of the film on the same day—right in a row. I saw the film, bid my friend goodbye, lingered outside the theater, met another friend and pretended I had just arrived, went inside, and saw it again. Once I bought a VHS copy online from a very iffy-looking Web site, but it turned out there were no subtitles. I don't speak Spanish but my brother-in-law and his wife do, so I sent it to them. They have never acknowledged receiving the film, which I can only interpret as awe.

What is the film about? Ninon Sevilla, in a fervent, twitchy performance, plays Elena, a young girl who endures sexual temptation, the breakup of her family, a suicide, and dance lessons in the first 10 minutes of the film. Following that, Gout thoughtfully provides a brief flashback encompassing all the events of the past 10 minutes. Murder and champagne follow. White slavery is involved and unrequited love. Also, table tennis. Ms. Sevilla has apparently been costumed with a vengeance—i.e., by someone with a fervent desire to get revenge on her. Do you know that feeling, way past admiration and quite a bit past campy admiration, when you realize that you literally can't believe what you are seeing? Also, it is a musical.

Fantastic movie, full of treachery, knives and dancing. See it.

Murderball, also fantastic and full of excellent music, and with a surprising amount of treachery (though no knives or white slavery). Especially recommended for sports fans.

Movie Extremely Unrecommended (1):

Collateral; quell obvious, you say, noting the presence of Tom Cruise. And yet, unless he wrote and directed this movie, I can't even blame him for the total fucking disintegration of logic that propels the last thirty minutes or so. Give me a break. (Though I will say that I was unimpressed with his supposedly steely-good performance.) Additional note to filmmaker people: Stop reminding me of the oh-so-poetic irony of some final scene that has been directly telegraphed early on in the movie. I and every other fucking person who may watch have seen at least 5o,000 movies. We grew up in movietown. If someone just came out from a cave and this is their very first movie ever, fuck them. Let them be bewildered. Thank you. (Why, Jamie Fox and Michael Mann? Why?)

Also, I have a cold, might be cranky as a result, and spent the day finally watching the box set of Wonderfalls. Loved it lots.

I'm really looking forward to The Brothers Grimm, even if Matt Damon didn't get a prosthetic nose.

Good night.

it had to happen eventually

2005-08-12T21:55:00.000-05:00

The secret's out -- broken by the NYTBR no less: Kelly is a sorceress:

HERE'S the risk: Play fast enough and loose enough with what can be understood about a piece of fiction and the reader will feel left out. I felt that way sometimes in ''Magic for Beginners.'' But even when I didn't know what to make of her stories, I couldn't put them out of my mind. That sort of resonance, that lingering, haunting effect, is the product of real magic, and Kelly Link is no doubt a sorceress to be reckoned with.

From generally positive review, of which the most baffling part involves zombies and you can see Scott (who is the coolest senior evAR) take it apart. Zombies eat brains. Or yams.

(If you got that yam joke, you are truly cool, Andy Duncan fans.)

(Murderball was most excellent.)

(Night now.)

happy happy end of week hangovers

2005-08-12T05:25:00.000-05:00

Wow, that was a long week. Tonight, we go see Murderball with friends and then I plan to sleep for a bazillion hours. Then, laundry and back to the rewrite, which I probably should have taken the computer along to Glasgow for because I've now effectively Lost Weekended two entire weeks.

For some reason I am in a very movie-seeing mood. Maybe we'll see more movies in there too (recommendations?).

Anyway. A few links that can't wait:

Margo Lanagan mentions in passing that she's "Faffing around with the extra story that's going into the UK edition of Black Juice." Guess this means I'll be buying the UK edition of Black Juice as well. (Is there anyone reading this who has yet to read this collection? Do yourself a huge favor.)

“These papers should lay to rest once and for all the claims by John Christy and other global warming skeptics that a disagreement between tropospheric and surface temperature trends means that there are problems with surface temperature records or with climate models,” said Alan Robock, a meteorologist at Rutgers University.

Lauren reveals the lunacy behind low-fat fried chicken.

Writer Jana Phipps divulges that she has a blog (and has since February!). I still remember pulling "The First Day of School" out of the Say... what time is it? slush pile and immediately falling in love with it. I actually told Christopher, "We're taking this story because it's wonderful, whether you like it or not. If you fight me, I will go live somewhere else." (Or something to that effect.) But he loved it too. Such are editorial threats. Anyway, go say hello to Jana over at her lovely blog.

Have a nice weekend.

most importantly!

2005-08-11T20:45:00.000-05:00

We got our bags back. Yay!

Also, Christopher lies.

informed consumer does not equal informed opinion

2005-08-11T19:45:00.000-05:00

So Ron Hogan picked up the same item I linked the other day from Caitlin Kiernan on whether EW reviews sell books. He's collected some interesting responses, which you can read here and (especially) here. (Including a very interesting response from Richard Nash at Soft Skull that feels right on target.)

Anyway.

Ron quotes Consumer Mike B. saying:

"I'm tired of being held accountable by poor writers/actors/directors/producers for the failure of their product. If it isn't Stephen King telling me (in the pages of Entertainment Weekly) that it's my fault Kingdom Hospital didn't do well; or if it isn't the team behind the movies The Island and Stealth telling me that it's my fault for not liking their movies, or if it's the industry telling me that I'm to blame for how badly movies in general are doing--it's Kiernan telling me that her book should be doing better than it is. But it should only be doing better than it is if it's actually a good book."

Then Mike B.'s take gets a little more problematic:

Which, after checking Murder of Angels out of the local library, he doesn't believe to be the case. "She's better than a lot of the guys out there," Mike says, "But too much of her writing seems for show and not for telling... Also, I read about 50 pages and I have no idea what the plot is."

The top of my head nearly blew off. Murder of Angels is a FANTASTIC book and not at all hard to follow. If you don't know what the plot is after 50 pages, Mike B., then you're just not paying attention.

See my short take on MoA here and check out Caitlin's forthcoming To Charles Fort, With Love, an amazing collection of short stories.

UPDATED: Check out the comments for more discussion and a fuller reaction from Mike B. (But, still, I think BOTH Threshold and MoA really are wonderful books, though in vastly different ways -- MoA gets as good as Tolkien (for me, anyway -- and hey, talk about self-indulgent there) once we glimpse its other world. Oh, and see Caitlin's own recent characterization of self-indulgent as a criticism.)

two thingsies of note

2005-08-11T18:58:00.000-05:00

Thing One: Carrie has an interview between the indefatigable Robert Birnbaum and Marianne Wiggins (aka "Rushdie's ex who gave Irving that bad review" and acclaimed novelist), conducted for Stuff magazine back in 1995 and so not previously available online. Topics discussed include: Alasdair Gray; Mormons; Howard Hughes; flip books; the Sioux; the “Indian bride’s form”; blasphemy and Satanic Verses; Mirabella and Granta; doing crap work for magazines; writing as “joyous failure”; the challenge of writing as a man; “pendulous breasts”; Cormac McCarthy and book tours; and more.

Alasdair Gray!

Thing Two: Reader of Depressing Books has several posts about genius Joy Williams you should take a look at. Prelude, Post the First, Post the Second, Post the Third, Post the Fourth, and Post the Final (?). RODB describes the posts thus:

the first post is on her fiction, the second her non-fiction

the third post is on some other things

the fourth post is an essay she wrote that can't be found anywhere on the internet except for here

It's like a little Joy Williams party. And I'll throw in a link to an extract from her Granta essay "The Case Against Babies," even though I've linked it before.

(Ed note: The essay is up without permission, so read it quick just in case. Who knows if JW is down with Creative Commons?)

please tell me...

2005-08-11T15:49:00.000-05:00

...you're reading the completely, utterly brilliant blog Number One Hit Song.

Help Dana answer her question about Ben Herman, legendary adversary, glimpsed on a train platform, but not whiffed. You really must go read the whole thing, but here's a snippet to convince:

And even those two were tolerable in comparison to my greatest adversary, one Ben Herman.

Ben Herman joined our office one late spring morning. It was only 9:15 and he was already sweating profusely, and in places I didn't know one could sweat. He was a tall kid, maybe 6'2, with the dumpy pear-shaped body and carriage of a middle-aged insurance salesman. He wore his pants too high. And he had the craziest cowlick that spanned the back of his head. It was always there.

I soon discovered the reason his cowlick never went away: the guy did not bathe. He smelled like he was smeared head to toe with fromunda cheese.** Had he never attended hygiene class in junior high? Had his parents (whom he lived with, in Orange County) never told him about cleanliness? They certainly doted on him--his mother made his lunch every day, packed in a brown bag with the name BEN written on it.

(No shit.)

Anyhow, in addition to being smelly, Ben was a total drip. He enjoyed role-playing games and collecting fantasy figurines. When I told him where I'd gone to college, he asked me if I knew some friend of his who'd also attended. I didn't recognize his name. Ben told me that I'd recognize this friend if I saw him, as he always wore a cloak and carried a staff.

I grimly tolerated Ben until one day, when he got on my last fuckin' nerve (as the two ladies behind me were wont to say) when we were discussing...I don't know...places we'd lived? I had said that I lived in Georgia for a couple years. He replied, "Oh, I hate the South. They're so stupid and intolerant."

"Have you ever been to the South, Ben?"

"No, never been further than Maryland. But I can tell."

I think we've all got a Ben.

you and KJF for a good cause

2005-08-11T05:30:00.000-05:00

You can bid Sept. 1-10 for a secondary character in a Karen Joy Fowler novel to be named after you or someone (who approves) of your choosing.

Karen says: "The name of a secondary character in my next novel. The novel is due to be published in 2007, but, as it is not written yet, that can change. The name must belong to a real person who is happy or at least willing to let me use it."

Karen once told me she'd title a character after me if my name wasn't real; hmmmm...

(There are other writers too, but you've seen that elsewhere and Karen's my favorite and so the most exciting of those offered in my opinion.)

four glasgow pics

2005-08-10T18:08:00.000-05:00

Playground hijinx: Gavin, Christopher, Kelly

Pretty building

Submerged bicycle in the west end

Cute old lady bowlers

more ryman

2005-08-10T16:34:00.000-05:00

It's good to know my wish is being granted (see Ryman item), though I'd wish still that it wasn't for such a sad reason. The s1ngularity blog calls attention to Geoff Ryman's tribute at the BBC News Magazine for those who lost their lives in the recent London bombings. The intro:

Nine years ago, novelist Geoff Ryman wrote a pioneering online novel, 253. It told a tale of the relationships between people who happened to be on a Tube train at the same time. Now, inspired by the varied lives of those who died on 7 July, Ryman offers his thoughts and tribute.

And what an amazing tribute. A snippet:

I don't believe there are evil people or evil countries, but there are undoubtedly evil thoughts and deeds. They come when we are tired, lazy, threatened or angry - rather like the shooting of that innocent Brazilian man. Everybody has a measure of right on their side and a measure of wrong.

The philosopher Hannah Arendt concluded that evil lay in the refusal to think. One of the things evil cannot face contemplating is variety. It prefers monolithic simplicity. Reality outstrips simplicity through a constant flowering of unexpected lives. Evil thoughts and deeds cannot prevail against it.

You can also read 253 online.

gossipy bits

2005-08-10T05:48:00.000-05:00

For why else does one read Entertainment Weekly*?

Anyway, there's a Jennifer Reese profile of Ayelet Waldman and the dust-up over her NYT and Salon essays, but it all feels a little rehash. Gorgeous photo of the author, however, and she casts herself as the anti-Franzen (or lover of O). (You can only see the first bit there unless you're a subscriber.)

Stephen King also apparently approves of son Owen's fiance/girlfriend(?) Kelly Braffet, of the delicious Josie and Jack, including a recommendation by her on his summer reading list:

Battle Royale by Koushun Takami
Recommended to me by novelist Kelly Braffet (Josie and Jack), Battle Royale is an insanely entertaining pulp riff that combines Survivor with World Wrestling Entertainment. Or maybe Royale is just insane. Forty-two Japanese high school kids who think they're going on a class trip are instead dropped on an island, issued weapons ranging from machine guns to kitchen forks, and forced to fight it out until only one is left alive. Royale bears some resemblance to Richard Bachman's The Long Walk. You probably won't find it at your local bookstore, but you can order it online. ''No prob,'' as Takami's Springsteen-quoting teenagers are fond of saying.

And I might add that LAST week's EW included a good review for Paul Park's excellent A Princess of Roumania: It's a journey almost as gratifying as the magic trick pulled off by author Paul Park, who should be knighted for breathing life into an oft-tired genre. And it wasn't even in the little genre ghetto box. I'm really very sad that I missed his reading of the second volume The Tourmaline at Interaction, as I heard it was fabulous.

*Which, by the way, you only have to subscribe to once. Seriously, I keep attempting to let my subscription lapse and they send issues with paper flappy bits that say LAST ISSUE EVER YOU WILL NEVER EVER GET ANOTHER ISSUE OF EW UNLESS YOU SEND US A CHECK IMMEDIATELY and then, the next week, there's another issue with no indication whatsoever that I still haven't resubscribed.

home home home remainders

2005-08-09T18:47:00.000-05:00

Still. No. Bags.

Sigh.

Kevin at Collected Miscellany on Howard Norman's The Haunting of L, a book which I also recommend. How can you go wrong with Spiritualism and creepy photos?

Cheryl Morgan is linking many, many Interaction reports over at Emerald City.

Patrick Neilsen Hayden on the proposed splitting of the Best Professional Editor Hugo. This provoked lots of interesting discussions over the weekend, and I'd bet on more to come.

Nerve interviews Francesca Lia Block. (Via Ron.)

Newsday compares science fiction to Rodney Dangerfield. Why not just compare Battlestar Gallactica to him? (Via Weirdwriter.)

Dan Green on Catherynne Valente's recent review of Breath and Bones at The Mumpsimus. My own view of the book matches closely with Dan's, but I was far too lazy to actually write such a coherent response.

The Herald has a piece on science fiction, focusing on Christopher Priest and Geoff Ryman (and possibly other things; I haven't made it through the whole piece yet). If only all newspapers continuously ran such pieces, or even just pieces about Ryman.

The Rake: Celebra-blogger!

You'll want to look at this post, then keep looking.

The Panopticon Lives(!).

The Happy Booker collects reasons from some Southerners NOT to see the very likely abomination Dukes of Hazzard movie. This seems like the kind of project that could go on indefinitely. (Did anyone see The Daily Show's piece on Cooter's protest? One of the best ever. "That's where we differ." Hilarity.) I'm partial to number 10: "Still upset they didn't hire Cate Blanchett to play Daisy Duke."

Caitlin writes on a number of interesting things (as usual), but her thoughts on whether EW reviews sell books especially caught my eye:

Recently, a couple of months ago, I was talking with my agent, Merrilee, and I was lamenting the lackluster sales of Murder of Angels, even after the glowing review in Entertainment Weekly, which, regardless of its merits or lack thereof, seems about as mainstream a magazine as I could ever hope to be reviewed by. And Merrilee said that, in her experience, reviews in EW do not translate into sales. Yesterday, I looked up the magazine's circulation. It's supposedly 1.7 million (this from EW's website). So, I imagined what seemed to me a worst-case scenario. Let's imagine that only 1% of the 1.7 million people who read EW read the review and then bought MoA. That would still be a whopping 17,000 books sold, which is about twice the first printing of the novel. I know that didn't happen. Then I decided to be more pessimistic. What if only one half of one 1% read the review and bought the book? That would still be 8,500 people, which would have sent the novel into a second printing. That didn't happen either. So, what about a mere one quarter of 1%? That's still 4,250 books, a very sizable dent in the first printing. But that evidently didn't happen, either. So, it would seem that even if one is lucky enough to get a good review in a magazine with a 1.7 million circulation, one cannot expect any significant increase in sales from that review. Tons of free advertising can be worthless. On the one hand, this is the sort of thing that all working authors need to spend a lot of time thinking about. On the other hand, it's the sort of thing that shuts me down and keeps me from writing. It's the sort of thing that makes me wish I could afford to confine my publishing to the specialty press. The books that I've done with Gauntlet Publishing and Subterranean Press have either sold out (some before publication) or will soon be sold out. And these are relatively hard-to-find expensive hardbacks, not $14 trade paperbacks available at Borders and Barnes and Noble. It's a laughable, ludicrous affair, this "business" of writing for a living.

Check out the rest of what she has to say.

Jeff Vandermeer interviews Kelly (and a Stephany Aulenback interview at Maud's place is soon to come too).

How on Earth have I never seen this? Cornell University's The Fantastic in Art and Fiction image database. In the immortal words of Keanu Reeves: Whoa. (Via Jeff.)

And now, the jetlag wins.

incompletely listing worldcon

2005-08-09T16:45:00.000-05:00

--with apologies to people, places, books and whatever else forgotten--

people finally, properly or serendipitously met:
Justina Robson*(and husband Richard Fennell)
Patrick Samphire
Niall Harrison
Amy Sisson
Didi Chanoch
Freda Warrington
Geoff Ryman (I managed to contain the inner fangirl. Barely.)
Liz Hand
John Clute
Juliet Ulman
Jude-Marie Green
Susanna Clarke (So nice!)
Greer Gilman
Veronica Schanoes (Ask her about her snake jewelry.)

people we happily got to spend more time with than usual:
David Moles
Jed Hartman
Stephanie Burgis
Chance Morrison
Ellen Datlow
Scott Edelman (who along with John Scalzi was on our replacement flight)

people we got to see, but not nearly enough:
Justine Larbalestier
Scott Westerfeld
Adam Stemple (Ask his "publicist" about his starred Booklist review.)
Lauren McLaughlin
Andrew Woffinden
Benjamin Rosenbaum
Sharyn November
Andy and Sydney Duncan
Greg Frost (whose new collection looks GORGEOUS)
John Scalzi
John Klima (though sadly no Lush trip)
Mark Rich
Martha Borchardt
China Mieville
Stan Robinson

best flatmates in the world:
Hugo award-winning Kelly D. Link (YAY!)
Gavin Grant
Ross Grant

yucky tastes:
absinthe pastilles
mincemeat canelloni

superior tastes:
gnocchi
fresh mussels and the cloutie at Arasaig
mozzarella, olive, red pepper, tomato, garlic baguette at Cafe Gandolfi (good company too)
divine hummus and tzatziki at Konaki Greek Taverna
Hugo Losers Party (although they don't call it that anymore) chocolates
lots of wine and good cider

panels attended**:
Fantastic Cities - A celebration of all the many wild, wonderful, vibrant, dangerous and exciting cities of fantasy literature. Jeffrey Ford, Ian R. Macleod, Michael Swanwick, Claire Weaver (I hear this was interesting, but I fell asleep; jetlag, you are cruel.)

Why Should We Mind? SF/Fantasy & Consciousness - From telepathy to life-after-death, the Singularity and uploaded consciousness, and into the psychotropic, the mind fascinates SF writers. Kelly Link, Alastair Reynolds, Justina Robson, Ian Watson, Connie Willis (By far, the best panel I attended. And not just because Scalzi laughed at the word ape.)

Growth of the Slipstream - Our panellists look at the fiction that slips between traditional genre boundaries, and ask why this kind of fiction appeals to SF readers. Hal Duncan, Colin Greenland, Elizabeth Hand, Kelly Link, Mark Rich, Delia Sherman (Better than your average slipstream panel.)

The Mason-Dixon Line Redrawn: America Divided? - Recent election maps show the US largely divided into urban Democrat states and rural Republican ones. What kinds of stories do the two Americas want to hear -- and should we be telling them? Harry Harrison, Paul Kincaid, Patrick Nielsen Hayden, Kim Stanley Robinson (Stan Robinson is the smartest person in any room, period.)

The Green Children of Woolpit - Who were the two green-skinned children that legend says appeared in the Sussex village of Woolpit nearly nine centuries ago? Duncan Lunan explores a remarkable answer to this ancient mystery. Duncan Lunan (Okay, so we didn't actually get to this, but we did meet the guy in the lobby at the Hilton later that night and get a precis of it: evil British lords and ladies supplying an alien colony. You heard it here second.)

readings attended:
Kelly Link
Christopher Rowe
Gavin Grant

books acquired:
Midnighters 3: Blue Noon ARC, Scott Westerfeld (made the trip home almost painless, more to come)
Magic Lessons ARC, Justine Larbalestier (can't wait to read the finished version as the first draft was FABULOUS)
I Live With You, Carol Emshwiller's new collection (about which also more to come)
Air, Geoff Ryman (hardback UK edition!)
Strange Itineraries, Tim Powers
River of Gods, Ian McDonald
Finding Helen, Colin Greenland
the others are in the lost bag and I can't remember their names

amazing things seen:
Alasdair Gray-designed murals at Òran Mór

bags lost:
Two, with actually lots of irreplaceable stuff in them (the little rocket ship clock given to all Hugo nominees by the Los Angeles WorldCon folks, Christopher's certificate suitable for framing, library books (not irreplaceable, but expensive to replace), basically every piece of jewelry Barb and Kelly have ever made for me along with my Grandmother's emerald ring that she bought with the inheritance from her brother's accidental death at the track, and of course, the dress I got married in) so keep your fingers crossed that they turn up

*Witness new Justina blog.
**I would like to take this opportunity to announce the rebirth of the panel

pray for our bags

2005-08-08T23:15:00.000-05:00

If you work for Air Canada, know someone who does or have incriminating information about the CEO, please force them to deliver our bags safely back to us. Soon.

The pilot of the next-to-last flight of the incredibly, stupendously, ridiculously long day of travel played the ukelele softly in the gate area while we were being delayed.

More anon. George says hi. We miss you already.

Updated: Air Canada COMPLETELY useless -- along with all their employees in the Toronto airport. Apparently, there is no report of our bags being lost and they say it's USA Airways problem. Only we can't talk to USA Airways and tell them the bags are lost until tomorrow.

stolen time

2005-08-06T08:31:00.000-05:00

On a convention computer. We made it to Glasgow a day late because of the Toronto plane crash (they literally turned around the plane and took us back to Charlotte mid-flight; on the plus side, Mr. Butner happened to be in Charlotte and came by to mock Kingdom of Heaven and Bad Local News with us). Are having tons of fun and seeing way too many people to list. Good food, good wine, bad exchange rate.

Hello to those of you coming here by way of the Analog or Asimov's featured blog page -- I promise far better content to come once we are home from WorldCon and have proper internet access.

If anyone wants to water the plants, hug George and read all the blog posts I've missed on Bloglines, that would be great. The weather here is marvelously cool and breezy. Tomorrow we dress up fancy. Now, to buy things (already got a hardback edition of Air) and see smart people talk.

just before leaving hangovers

2005-08-02T09:42:00.000-05:00

No computOR -- (Electrify the COMPUTOR!) -- will be going with, sadly, as there's not enough room for that and the books that must come (heavy damn books) and I've already left a few back. Magazines came though, timely, EW and Interzone (nice cover this month). Perhaps there will be a few short, cryptic entries anyway, like clues or secrets; perhaps not. I'll take lots of photos though and post them when I get back, unless I don't.

Long interview with Joss Whedon on Serenity and manifold other aspects of reality. Via Didi.

Caroline Kettlewell (great name) is rightfully excited about Mary Roach's forthcoming Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife. I liked Stiff a ton, but you probably guessed that already.

K. Bird Lincoln (who had an excellent story in the Dead issue of Say...) interviews Chris Barzak and Yoshio Kobayashi over at Strange Horizons. A most interesting discussion.

The newest Bat Segundo Show is live, featuring Kevin Smokler and Amanda Filipacchi.

And that, dear readers, is it for now. To the skies!

10 truths about traveling to Scotland (UPDATE no. 6)

2005-08-01T13:36:00.000-05:00

1. Beginning your vacation with a massage is essential. Knot-free air travel always recommended. Also, try a nap after that massage. Don't you feel better already?

2. There is no good way to pack a fancy dress. (Dry cleaning story sold separately, but, I even got to see a fellow customer's spectacular brown recluse bite -- if you've never seen pictures, it actually resembles cutaneous anthrax. Ouch. I told him to go to the doctor and not to ooze on my freshly cleaned dress.)

3. Don't forget the little envelope the convention people sent. They said to bring it. If you bought tickets from Orbitz, you probably have to have paper tickets -- bring those too.

4. Preparing for a five/six-ish day stint in a foreign country is so much more taxing than a domestic trip. Unsure exactly why, probably a combination of many little things.

5. There's at least a dozen people I won't get to see enough of. Guaranteed.

6. I'm waffling on whether to take a computer. I have this baby computer which is quite light. Since we're going to a Science Fiction Convention, logic would convince that there will be wireless access. But, then again, not where we're staying, so maybe I'll just catch computers as catch can and upload pictures stateside. Plus, doubtful I'll actually care. But then there's always the possiblity I might get some (re)writing done during our five hour Canadian lay-over. (Toronto.) Your vote counts. UPDATE: I may just bring a print-out and work longhand; sounds like wireless will be scarce and expensive (not in the budget), so probably very little blogging until Tuesday, August 9.

7. The exchange rate sucks. Big time. Ask me how.

8. Where are all the teeny books made of hollow paper that weigh less than an ounce I've been meaning to read? They were all here yesterday.

9. At the moment, I actually do wish I had one of those little portable music gizmos.

10. Remember, approaching with an extra drink in hand or to offer a drink means I like you already. (Whisky, cider & black or a nice white wine preferred.)

Safe travel everyone, see you there.

world fantasy award nominations

2005-07-30T09:43:00.000-05:00

Are out and there's some AMAZING work up this year:

Novel:

Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (Bloomsbury)
Stephen R. Donaldson, The Runes Of the Earth (Putnam; Gollancz)
China Mieville, Iron Council (Del Rey)
Sean Stewart, Perfect Circle (Small Beer Press)
Gene Wolfe, The Wizard Knight (Tor, two volumes)

Novella:

Leena Krohn, Tainaron: Mail from Another City (Prime Books)
Kim Newman, 'Soho Golem' (Sci Fiction)
Michael Shea, 'The Growlimb' (F&SF, 1/2004)
Lisa Tuttle, My Death (PS Publishing)
Gene Wolfe, 'Golden City Far' (FLIGHTS: EXTREME VISIONS OF FANTASY)

Short Fiction:

Theodora Goss, 'The Wings of Meister Wilhelm' (POLYPHONY 4)
Margo Lanagan, 'Singing My Sister Down' (BLACK JUICE)
Kelly Link, 'The Faery Handbag' (THE FAERY REEL: TALES FROM THE TWILIGHT REALM)
China Mieville, 'Reports of Certain Events in London' (MCSWEENEY'S ENCHANTED CHAMBER OF ASTONISHING STORIES)
Barbara Roden, 'Northwest Passage' (ACQUAINTED WITH THE NIGHT)

Anthology:

The Faery Reel: Tales from the Twilight Realm ed. Ellen Datlow & Terri Windling (Viking)
Polyphony 4 ed. Deborah Layne & Jay Lake (Wheatland Press)
Acquainted With The Night ed. Barbara & Christopher Roden (Ash Tree Press)
Dark Matter: Reading The Bones ed. Sheree R. Thomas (Warner Aspect)
The First Heroes: New Tales of the Bronze Age ed. Harry Turtledove & Noreen Doyle (Tor)

Collection:

Peter Crowther, Songs Of Leaving (Subterranean Press)
John M. Ford, Heat Of Fusion and Other Stories (Tor)
Eileen Gunn, Stable Strategies And Others (Tachyon Publications)
Margo Lanagan, Black Juice (Allen & Unwin Australia)
Joe R. Lansdale, Mad Dog Summer and Other Stories (Subterranean Press)
Ian R. MacLeod, Breathmoss and Other Exhalations (Golden Gryphon)
Lucius Shepard, Trujillo (PS Publishing)

Artist:

Caniglia
Kinuko Craft
John Jude Palencar
John Picacio
Charles Vess

Special Award: Professional:

Gavin Grant & Kelly Link (for Small Beer Press)
S. T. Joshi (for scholarship)
Sharyn November (for editing)
Gordon Van Gelder (for F&SF)
Terri Windling (for editing)

Special Award: Non-Professional:

Ariel (for thealienonline.net)
Matt Cheney (for mumpsimus.blogspot.com)
Robert Morgan (for Sarob Press)
Barbara Roden (for All Hallows magazine)
Michael Walsh (for Old Earth Books)

Congratulations to everyone! There's too much good stuff on here to single people out (except, props to Matt Cheney's blogga skillz!). Also, Kelly and Gavin -- finally professional! It's about time!

Updated: Artist list has been corrected. Thanks, Kathryn!

sunburns feel idiotic

2005-07-29T21:26:00.000-05:00

Even when they're accidental, it turns out. You just ought to be able to protect yourself from these sorts of things. It's all your fault for not having sunscreen, etc. And yet, after not having one for a bazillion--or at least 10--years (since high school?), it's not as bad as I remember. Of course, that could be because I snicked a couple of George's pills (strictly doctor's orders, or WebMD anyway), which are what they prescribe for really bad sunburns or to prophylax sunburns. It seems to have worked. I'm obnoxiously red and there's some pain, but less than there should be considering. Also, aspirin helps, if you take it in the first 24 hours.

At any rate, I'm almost on my one true vacation for the year, and came home to my Lush box (courtesy of a b-day gift cert) filled with Karma perfume and Dream Cream and a bunch of free soap samples. I believe we've now got everything we need for the trip, except my dress, which had a sudden emergency and went to the cleaners. (Excellent cleaners, more on that after I pick it up tomorrow and see how good a job they did.)

Other things:

Please welcome Mr. van Eekhout to the bloggerworld or World 'O Blogger, as you prefer.

The Senses Five Press blog likes Magic for Beginners, as all sane people do. Sidenote: While we were out running errands, we saw this gigantic white truck, outfitted with a strange white metal shield on top of the cab. Obviously, a zombie contingency plan waiting to happen, although I prefer to think the owner is just a visionary who has already put the plan into motion.

Jenny D just read M.T. Anderson's awesome Thirsty and has discovered the best Amazon review ever. I steal it here for I am a thief:

This book is good but it has many lies. First,people just dont TURN into vampires, they have to be blooded. Second, they CAN tell who other vampires are in a crowd, but not by their shadows, they have an aura (a scent a vampire gives off).

This book was very missleading. If you want a book that is true, I would strongly recommend a different book. If you are looking for a fairy tale, this would be your book.

Mr. McLaren's mother, meet Mr. T's mother. (Mr. McLaren is back and blogging up a storm, btw.)

You know what Christopher always says: some things make better anecdotes than experiences. I'm pretty sure this is one of those things. Ouch.

and yet...

2005-07-28T22:07:00.000-05:00

If they'd left out female (and the hands), I could debate domo arigato, Mr. Roboto:

Japanese scientists have unveiled the most human-looking robot yet devised - a 'female' android called Repliee Q1.

She has flexible silicone for skin rather than hard plastic, and a number of sensors and motors to allow her to turn and react in a human-like manner.

She can flutter her eyelids and move her hands like a human. She even appears to breathe.

Professor Hiroshi Ishiguro of Osaka University says one day robots could fool us into believing they are human.

And couldn't they give her a better name? Repliee is so trashy.

Also, please get your hand out of her back.

rosie should get to co-write The Believer advice column

2005-07-27T21:02:00.000-05:00

Birnbaum vs. Sarah Vowell:

I like the distance of talking about the long dead. There are some very serious parts of the book, and some mournful ones, but there is some joking around, and you can do a little less of that when someone's daughter and brother are mourning them. Or wife and children, in the case of [Martin Luther] King. I'm just not very interested in John F. Kennedy. Also, my books are purely optional. They are not books that need to be written.

wednesday hangovers

2005-07-27T05:55:00.000-05:00

So, posting will either get more or less sporadic after Friday and on into the Big Scotland Trip (leaving Tuesday). Hard to say which. I'm working on my rewrite (like the little engine that could -- but only very deliberately), which means that I wake up at four a.m. thinking, "You know, that should really be two chapters instead of one, but I'm not going to get up and work on it right now." Repeat until it's time to get up. Still refuse to just get up and work on it.

Also, it is very hot here. Still. Oh, for the mid-60s of Scotland.

One of my favorite things about the south is reading all the crazy church signs. And now there's a Church Sign Generator. (Via Lime Tree's cool green walking cat bad self.)

Ron Hogan, guesting at Whatever, puts forth -- and then almost immediately scraps -- a theory about John 12 Hawks In A Tree's identity. He didn't like that program very much, no he didn't.

Weirdwriter's back! Be merry.

The Times Online publishes The Secret Ordeal of Miranda Piker, which is: Before Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was published in 1964 Roald Dahl pared down his cast of characters. Last to go was Miranda Piker and her chapter has appeared only once — in mirror script. Here, for the first time, we publish her comeuppance the right way round. (Via The Rake.)

And just for good measure: have I mentioned lately how much I love Number One Hit Song? You can even find out how to make a kick-ass pie over there. Much. Heart.

100 percent proof

2005-07-26T06:39:00.000-05:00

That if you take the same quiz enough times, you can get the result you want. Oldie but goodie:

Dorothy Parker writes you, you wonderfully urbane,
witty boozehound, you.

Which Author's Fiction are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Via Bill S.)

reactions inside the field to 12 hawks sitting in a tree blabbing on his satellite phone

2005-07-26T05:27:00.000-05:00

Or pointers to reviews/discussion of The Traveler, as requested the other day.

John Joseph Adams recently reviewed the book over at The Slush God Speaketh (I don't know how I missed that one to begin with, but thanks Pam!). He sez:

It's one of those books that reads as if it was written only to be made into a movie (indeed, the movie rights have already been snapped up by Universal with Spielberg attached to direct), and if one were to make an accurate this crossed with that comparison, one might choose "The Highlander crossed with Robert Ludlum," rather than the absurd analogy quoted above. But though the book seems to have only popcorn pretensions, the prose is sharp and clean, with vividly described action sequences, making for a fast and easy read.

There's more and the ultimate verdict is along the lines of enjoyable fluff -- exactly the response I've seen from readers outside the field. JJA's comparison to a movie seems an apt one.

And John Klima points to the same lengthy discussion thread over at the Night Shade Books Message Board that touched off JJA's review.

sunday hangovers

2005-07-24T10:21:00.000-05:00

I'm trapped inside on the Hottest Day of the Year. It's just brutal out there. So, here are a few things to occupy your own trappedness if it's this hot where you are too:

Kelly's "The Great Divorce" is the currently featured One Story (also in Magic for Beginners), and true to One Story form they have an excellent little interview with her about it. Somehow I let my One Story subscription die, will have to remedy that.

Elizabeth Ward is extremely unimpressed by Ariel Dorfman and Isabel Allende's forays into young adult lit, but raves about Walter Mosley and Carol Emshwiller's. Mister Boots had slipped my mind and now I want. to. read. it. immediately. The Book World review sez:

Strange things happen in this quietly affecting fable, too, but Emshwiller is so wry and matter-of-fact about them that disbelief is not an issue. Facts are few, reflecting the narrator's limitations ("I guess you haven't been homeschooled enough about reality and science," says Mother). Bobby is 10, "the perfect age." The setting is pre-Depression desert California. Father is gone, and Mother and Bobby's sad sister knit for a living. Beyond that, it gets hazy--and interesting. Bobby meets an odd, wounded man who is also a horse, Mister Boots. Bobby might or might not be really Roberta. Father returns after Mother dies; he's a magician and a bully. Emshwiller is playing with some heavy themes here, particularly the staple sf notion of identity and gender as sleights of hand and power imbalances between both species and sexes. But she has said, "As to any 'meaning' I'm trying to get across, there isn't any"--and that is the beauty of Mister Boots . Ideas creep in as quietly as a horse watching you in the moonlight.

Speaking of YAs, I bought Pete Hautman's new one Invisible and Andrew Auseon's Funny Little Monkey (if it's anything like his blog, it'll be hilarious). I already finished the Hautman; his work is so readable and spare. I didn't love it as much as Godless, and in the end it reminded me thematically of Daniel Handler's The Basic 8, a book I adore for its flawless use of tone, among many other things. I hesitate to say too much about Invisible, because knowing too much could spoil it for you. Despite these few reservations, it's still an excellent look through the eyes of a troubled high school outcast, an unreliable narrator who is disconcertingly persuasive and likable even while doing exceedingly creepy things. I recommend it.

Please refer to Tod Goldberg as Tod Thirteen Hawks from now on. I've yet to see a reaction to The Traveler from someone inside the genre (if I'm missing these, please point to them in the comments or an email). I'm almost tempted to read it myself. I've yet to see a reaction from someone who actually hated the book, though there is a common sense of moderate self-loathing for having enjoyed reading it in many of the reactions I have seen. But, again, those were all from people who don't seem to read a ton of SF. I'm curious about how reactions from those who do will differ.

And today, Le Tour 2005 and Lance Armstrong's career in cycling have ended. Next year should be very interesting, as they say in shadowy black and white movies while ominous music plays...

oh, to live in this neighborhood

2005-07-24T10:17:00.000-05:00

Best yard sale ever, as described in the WaPo:

Some people lose their illusions. Alan decided to sell his, or at least the ones he no longer needs. So he organized this yard sale and -- to ensure that no trade secrets would leak out -- admitted only official card-carrying magicians.

About two dozen magicians appeared, from as far away as Norfolk and New Jersey, shelling out $10 to ponder Alan's illusions.

'This is a sword levitation,' said Jack Julius, 44, a magician from Annapolis. He was squatting on the grass, checking out a device containing three long, curved swords. 'You take the girl and you lay her down on top of the swords. You remove two swords and the third is still sticking in her neck.'

'That sounds like it could be dangerous,' said Julius's wife, Tanya, 34. She looked a tad worried, which wasn't surprising, considering that she would be the 'girl' lying on the swords if Julius bought the illusion, which was priced at $600.

'You just have to stay straight and be hypnotized,' Julius said. 'It's like acupuncture. It's like you're lying on a bed of nails, except it's three swords.'

i lied

2005-07-22T17:01:00.000-05:00

Two more things:

Lauren McLaughlin went and got a blog. (Soon every human will have a blog and then my head will explode.)

And via No True Bill you can learn when/why/how CBS will be showing some Veronica Mars episodes soon, in prep for the second season. I really wish the first season was on DVD. Strongly contemplating adding a UPN affiliate to our satellite roster this fall.

That really is all. Tonight we're going to see David King read and blab about Finding Atlantis, and I might write about that tomorrow. Or possibly not. At any rate:

Go about your weekend.

happy friday

2005-07-22T16:28:00.000-05:00

Because I have nothing else to post, two of my favorite poems. (You've seen at least one of these here before, and maybe both of them.)

Training for the Apocalypse

Consider the will to love
as the decision to survive.
That's how the agents of Eros operate.
They sneak into your dreams
just before the world ends.

- Gloria Frym

(And apologies for the lack of correct formatting on the next one -- just imagine that every second line is indented a bit. Or drop me a line and tell me how to do that.)

Witch-Wife

She is neither pink nor pale,
And she never will be all mine;
She learned her hands in a fairy-tale,
And her mouth on a valentine.

She has more hair than she needs;
In the sun `tis a woe to me!
And her voice is a string of coloured beads,
Or steps leading into the sea.

She loves me all that she can,
And her ways to my ways resign;
But she was not made for any man,
And she never will be all mine.

- Edna St. Vincent Millay

And I should mention that Mr. Rowe updated UnCommonwealth today and he's got good and big life news over there.

Have a good weekend.

holy teapot batman

2005-07-21T20:54:00.000-05:00

How much do I love Blottered? It's the best, really.

Without it I might have missed the Malaysian teapot cult story. You heard me.

Malaysian authorities on Wednesday arrested 58 followers of a bizarre cult built around a giant teapot, two days after the sect’s headquarters was torched.

The official Bernama news agency said those arrested were aged between 20 and 60 years and included a New Zealand woman.

Cult leader, Ayah Pin, was not among those arrested and was believed to have gone into hiding after about 30-35 assailants armed with machetes and Molotov cocktails attacked the commune on Monday, torching a car and the roof of a building and scorching the giant teapot itself.

Tell us more about this Ayah Pin, you say?

The sect, which believes the teapot has healing properties, is in Malaysia’s northeast, a devoutly Muslim area that has suddenly lost patience with the cult, headed by the man who says he is God and owner of everything, his “Sky Kingdom.”

More from the BBC, including a photo of Mr. Sky Kingdom*. (Not to mention the one above.)

Another reason to love Blottered? This post, about a ring slightly lesser than the One Ring to Rule Them All.

*Some say inscrutable, I say stony-faced.

ack!

2005-07-21T16:49:00.000-05:00

Emily G writes very, very funny on sins of the acknowledgements page over at Black Table:

Rule #1: Don't Thank A Dead Person.

This one is fairly straightforward. Unless you personally knew, say, Spalding Gray (Chuck) or, more improbably, Abraham Lincoln (Steve), it is not appropriate to thank him. I don't care if he inspired every single word on every single page. Thank him in your prayers, in the pages of your diary, in a post on your little-read blog. He does not care about being thanked in your acknowledgments, because he is dead, and to everyone else, it just looks like you are name-dropping a person who you can safely assume will not deny knowing you, and that's just tacky.

Run, don't walk.

(Via Ed.)

Tom Cruise, meet David Lynch

2005-07-21T06:49:00.000-05:00

From today's WaPo:

LOS ANGELES -- Film director David Lynch wants to raise $7 billion to bring about world peace through a massive Transcendental Meditation program.

Lynch, 59, known for quirky, avant-garde works like "Mulholland Dr." and the "Twin Peaks" television series, is launching a foundation to fund TM programs in schools across America, and ultimately the world. The David Lynch Foundation for Consciousness-based Education and World Peace also would support research on TM's effects on academic performance, anxiety, depression and drug abuse.

"I would like to find some very wealthy individuals who saw the truth of this and said, 'I want to do something for the world which is meaningful,' " he said in an interview yesterday. "This is a way to bring real peace to Earth. Real peace isn't just the absence of war. It is the absence of negativity."

late nite hangovers

2005-07-21T01:07:00.000-05:00

(The hated nite spelling just felt right. It's sort of a lite brite time.) (There is a flash lite brite application on that page where you could spend days making designs.)

Dan Wickett corrals some examples of that mythical beast -- the publicist -- in his latest e-panel. The divine Lauren Cerand is one of them. (The swan bag Lauren pointed to last week is also fabulous.) Check it out.

Jonathan Strahan responds to Greg Feeley's thoughts from the other day on story collections and the small vs. trade press's willingingess to publish them.

"Robotics show Lucy walked upright."

James Woods is a comment bad boy. Who knew?

Number One Hit Song (which is kicking much of the ass since its relaunch) catches a funny gaffe(?) at Gawker. Can you decode the meaning of "Jonathan Cheban"?

Damn you, Bloglines Plumber, you and your fat shrug!

say it with me: insomnia

2005-07-21T00:59:00.000-05:00

Even two melatonin tablets ain't cutting it. Or perhaps I'm turning into an elderly person (scroll).

However, this may allow me to be the first person to publicly say:

Happy 30th Birthday to Mr. Chris Barzak, Karaoke Champ and Kick-ass Writer!

(My favorite photo of the two of us, courtesy of Mr. Butner. Updated: Richard points out that this pic was actually snapped by Ms. Gilly.)

Looks like a damn fun time over there in Japan.

Why don't you go on over and read his awesome story "The Language of Moths." You can also read all about a bunch of other stuff that happened on July 21, but really, what you want to know is what does Holiday Mathis hold for the birthday boy, right? Happy to oblige:

TODAY'S BIRTHDAY (July 21). This year, you are ready for the journey, whatever it may be, even if it means throwing your baggage overboard. After all, a person without baggage is a person who will be attaining new things in their fantastic new destination! The purchase of property is featured in August. September brings a new job. Love is auspicious with a Libra or a Capricorn. Your lucky numbers are: 1, 20, 8, 41 and 2.

Very nice, Mr. B.

nice sentence

2005-07-20T18:33:00.000-05:00

Started Adam Gopnik's The King in the Window, which has the following excellent first sentence:

If Oliver had simply smiled and joked with his parents while he was wearing the gold paper crown, or if he had just remembered to take it off after dinner, as he had always done before, the window wraiths might never have mistaken him for royalty.

I'll let you know about the rest.

p.s. Finally both my new contacts are in. Yay for ungritty vision. Yay. Yay. Yay.

p.p.s. Who didn't love Peter Dinklage on Entourage?

wednesday hangovers

2005-07-20T06:30:00.000-05:00

Terrible insomnia last night and, as a result, I'm a bit bleary around the edges. So, these things and no more:

Fellow advice columnist Sarah Vowell wants you to ask her about Cleveland.

Justine makes me salivate with advance word about Elizabeth Knox's new novel (apparently the first of a young adult duology -- very interesting). Knox's previous novels are all gorgeous and I really, really can't wait to read this latest one. I read Daylight on an airplane to San Francisco at such an odd angle I woke up with awful wrist and finger cramps that night: they were worth it. We loves Elizabeth Knox, we do.

Hurree points to a couple of interesting things about SF and children. He quotes Ursula Le Guin saying: "Whenever they tell me children want this sort of book and children need this sort of writing, I am going to smile politely and shut my earlids. I am a writer, not a caterer. There are plenty of caterers. But what children most want and need is what we and they don't know they want and don't think they need, and only writers can offer it to them."

Jacob Sager Weinstein posts his famed Wordplayer Film Geek Test online.

And, because I've been silly quizless for awhile, a result which anyone who routinely reads this site will likely dispute:

Your Blogging Type Is Clever and Witty

Of all blogging types, you're the best with words.
Almost every blog post you write has legendary quality.
You have a perverse sense of humor and often play devil's advocate.
Impatient and picky, you tend to go off on funny rants from time to time.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

(Via The Happy Booker.)

women in fictional history

2005-07-20T05:18:00.000-05:00

Beatrice is hosting an Author2Author this week featuring René Steinke and Susann Cokal discussing the female protagonists of their latest books. Today's Cokal's turn to talk about Famke in Breath and Bones, which I very much enjoyed. (Others disagree, but I thought Cokal's use of nineteenth century tropes was very knowing and her writing quite lovely.) An excerpt from their very interesting discussion:

Cokal: When I thought of Famke, I threw in some of the classic elements of nineteenth-century literature: She's an orphan, was raised in a religious community, and embarks on a (perhaps misbegotten) quest for love. Orphan stories are inevitably stories about identity--finding one or shaping one--and with female characters in particular, that identity tends to come through learning who one's father was or finding the right man to marry, the right "Mrs." to become. I didn't want the traditional kind of plot in which identity comes through a man, but I did know that Famke would need a lot of helpers on her quest and that, given the constraints of the time, most of them would be male. I thought it would be interesting if she borrowed some elements of identity from each. So I made her a bit of a chameleon; she joins up with several men, and even masquerades as a man for a while, but never holds on to any one persona for long. She's both a picaro and a bit of a maneater, I'm afraid; she marries a Mormon patriarch in order to get passage to America, and she plays up to a slightly unbalanced doctor in order to benefit from his innovative cure for her tuberculosis. She sees her dependence on men as something with which to strategize; her apparent vulnerability allows her to act forcefully, because she has something they want, too.

What she has is, of course, on display in the posing scenes. I always knew that the first line of the main text would be "'Don't move,' he said"--to me, that sums up certain notions of the nineteenth-century: a man telling a woman not to move, to hold a pose, to keep embodying an image he likes. That's the idea of the Angel in the House, the good example, the good mother, the even-tempered paragon that girls are told to be in books like Little Women and Little House on the Prairie (the recurrence of the word "Little" can't be an accident). But I think that, like the Jo March and Laura Ingalls of those books, most girls--and women--must have rebelled from time to time; it was too hard to hold that pose. So my favorite scene in the book is the night of the tableaux vivants in San Francisco, when Famke and other girls play "living pictures." These were marvelous entertainments in which women arranged themselves as the figures in famous paintings and held absolutely still--one of the best examples of that static identity women were supposed to maintain. (Tableaux vivants were also excuses for public nudity in the name of Art, and the police sometimes raided them.)

Cokal was nice enough to send me a copy of her first novel Mirabilis a few months ago featuring the best inscription ever complete with a drawing of two tiny breasts. I am now a lifelong fan.

strange dog

2005-07-19T20:49:00.000-05:00

Much of this evening has been spent dealing with a skittish, extremely hungry red dog (a setter of some kind?) that suddenly showed up on the other side of the street. The odd thing is that maybe he belongs to this strange muumuu lady who is working in the house -- she lets him follow her in and out, for instance. But maybe he doesn't, as she also doesn't acknowledge him, didn't notice when I fed him, and said he didn't belong to her.

He tossed around the ball. Drank water. Ate food. Let me pet him.

Then damn-near got George killed leading him across the street.

We have to figure out where this dog came from and whose he is. Humane Society was closed, etc. Calls will be made first thing in the morning. He most decidedly did not want to be closed in our back yard, and there's still the possibility he belongs to the even stranger lady across the street.

The only thing to do after all this excitement was have a champagne and orangina cocktail, after which I really do feel much better.

Did I mention our next door neighbors now give singing lessons? I keep running into the kitchen trying to protect the glassware.

Now I will start Our Napolean in Rags by Kirby Gann and go to sleep. "Magic for Beginners" really is the best TV show/story ever. Really. You haven't seen this one, unless you have.

I plan to dream sweet dreams of Scotland. Soon. Soon!

monday hangovers

2005-07-18T20:24:00.000-05:00

Tired, sleepy, all that. There were possibly gunshots up the street earlier. Or maybe leftover fireworks. Very exciting. A few things anyway:

Practical writing-avoidance avoidance technique plug at Bay Area Word of Mouth, coming just after an account of what sounds like a meeting of a most fabulous write club. (Via Ghost Word blog, not Ghost blog -- big difference.)

Carrie gets patrigoogled by Old Man Sittenfeld! And then it's mentioned in the Atlantic Monthly! All very exciting--and proof that anyone who you write about on your blog's dad will find out about it.

A Blottered poster links to Ted Richardson's fraud blog.

You heard it from Rebecca Skloot: Showers will kill you.

Only two more shipping days until Mr. Barzak's birthday!

Christopher just finished Lord Byron's Novel and loved it. Go over to his site and harangue him in the comments until he tells you how much.

and I agree it's unrealistic ... because it's TELEVISION

2005-07-18T19:50:00.000-05:00

NYT piece on magic TV medicine:

On the Fox television show 'House,' a misanthropic, pill-popping, grizzled uber doctor named Gregory House leads a group of impossibly bright young physicians in the department of diagnostic medicine at a teaching hospital in New Jersey.

Dr. House and his team solve medical mysteries with the flair and resourcefulness of private investigators. On a recent show, doctors made multiple visits to the home (even the school bus) of a teenager with convulsions before determining that he had a rare pesticide poisoning.

My wife, a general internist, finds the show absurdly 'unrealistic.' 'Doctors don't do that,' she cries whenever a House physician blithely ignores the boundaries of medical subspecialties. (The same doctors, for example, might perform cardiac catheterization, gastrointestinal endoscopy, bone-marrow biopsy and liver ultrasound.) I agree the show is unrealistic, but for a different reason. It portrays a world where doctors have time to solve problems.

black and bradbury

2005-07-18T18:41:00.000-05:00

Frank Black interviews Ray Bradbury. There is an alternate universe and we are living in it.

(Via Mr. Rakewell.)

saturday hangovers

2005-07-16T09:12:00.000-05:00

Matt Cheney asks for recs for what kids should read after Harry Potter (and he plugs Thirsty by M.T. Anderson, now tied for best YA vampire novel with Scott Westerfeld's forthcoming Peeps). Stop by and weigh in. (I would say best vampire novel without the qualification, but I don't want Stoker argumentation in the comments.)

Speaking of Scott, he chronicles the Potter release scene at Books of Wonder last night. (I might add here that I personally love J.K. Rowling for one giant result of her success: the impact of the Potter books on the YA field in general has been phenomenal.)

Carrie asks for Peter Beagle recommendations, having really liked Lila the Werewolf.

Audio of Teller reviewing The Glorious Deception for NPR. (Via No True Bill.)

Gregory Feeley talks about the number of collections by first-rate SF writers being published by small presses, rather than trade publishers.

Carny lingo. (Via Boing Boing.)

Catfish the size of a grizzly bear caught in Thailand. (Via Rebecca Skloot.) One of the cutlines in the photo gallery is fabulous: "Thai fishers struggled for more than an hour to haul in the record-breaking Mekong giant catfish. Officials from Thailand's Inland Fishery Deparment then used a performance-enhancing drug to stimulate the pituitary gland of the female fish in order to prepare it for a breeding program (above). Despite efforts to keep the bear-size catfish alive, it died and was later eaten by villagers."

Thanks to all who sent lovely gifties this week -- I'm vowing to catch up on email this weekend, at least to the extent of sending you individual thank you notes. Now off for cake with the family. xox

ETA: Neely Tucker in the WaPo on how dark children's stories have always been and are, and she quotes Maria Tatar. As Tatar says, "If you start with 'once upon a time,' you're going to finish with 'happily ever after.'"

18 more fantasy authors to read instead of J.K. Rowling

2005-07-15T18:03:00.000-05:00

(Jumping off Ed's post, and with the caveat that I actually have nothing against Rowling or the Harry Potter books, having not read them.)

Paul Park
Jonathan Carroll
Geoff Ryman
Angelica Gorodischer
Kelly Link
Maureen McHugh
Sean Stewart
Caitlin Kiernan
Karen Joy Fowler
Holly Black
Stephen Millhauser
Kage Baker
Terry Bisson
Graham Joyce
Greg Frost
Avram Davidson
Diana Wynne Jones
Andy Duncan

(And it was hard to stop!)

Note: Just to emphasize again, I have nothing against Rowling, I just like making recommendations. Really.

did you glimpse...

2005-07-15T17:57:00.000-05:00

Stranger Things Happen on The Daily Show yesterday?

Now we can only hope for Link V. Stewart. Or something like that.

(Hasn't Stewart been deliciously brutal since the set redesign?)

Updated: Gavin has posted a little explanation, if you're lacking the context.

tour de france-appropriate poemetry

2005-07-14T06:37:00.000-05:00

Or Alan posts an excerpt from his long poem The Stations. A snippet of his snippet:

A bicycle rides inside a kite
with its string dipped in shards
predicting the later discovery of
another kite

There is bourbon inside the kite
which the bicycle partakes in
The bicycle can see nebraska
The narrow nebraskans are
praying in lincoln to lincoln
The kite is an express route
over flyover

You'll want to go read the whole excerpt, race or poetry fans.

crazy birthday horoscopes

2005-07-12T17:02:00.000-05:00

I miss Sydney O'Marr. These are from Holiday Mathis (not nearly as mysterious a name).

First, the overall Cancer horoscope:

CANCER (June 22-July 22). This is a remarkably enlightening day. You enjoy fleeing the darkness and entering a bright zone -- that is to say learning -- in every area you put your focus into, especially person-to-person dynamics.

And then the If Today's Your Birthday (as it is Julius Caesar's, Henry David Thoreau's and Tod Browning's, to name a few more illustrious "birthday girls"):

TODAY'S BIRTHDAY (July 12). There's no time for fear. You jump into life and don't turn back. So by the time you realize what a project is going to cost you financially and personally, you'll already have accomplished it. Love is golden in the early fall, and you'll feel like you're walking on clouds. A move or exciting travel will spice up October. Love signs are Aquarius and Gemini. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 1, 49, 33 and 22.

Am I supposed to run out and buy a lottery ticket?

why bicycle coverage rocks

2005-07-12T16:54:00.000-05:00

From the TDF blog's early explanation of developments in today's stage (not really a spoiler):

An opportunistic break was allowed to get 13:30 out in front; the biggest name and highest placed rider to make that break is Laurent Brochard, the former world champion, sitting 49th, 7:58 back this morning. Brochard, of course, has the peloton's worst mullet.

sleep now

2005-07-11T20:51:00.000-05:00

Another year older and deeper in debt, as they say. Sucky middle-of-the-week birthday or not, next year I'll be forced to have a big Gwendagras party. This year, not so much.

(It's actually tomorrow.)

Anyway, this is a quick note to point to the Sybil's Garage blog before I forget to. I discovered its existence due to excellent Readercon reports. Looks to be a very good site and a very good zine.

Night.

and the winner is

2005-07-11T16:59:00.000-05:00

...announced over at Christopher's site.

(This is the winner of the subscription drive Pretty Magic Butlers of Roanoke prize.)

why does this house smell like wet dog?

2005-07-10T17:06:00.000-05:00

I wonder...

Stage one: Brushing!

(The keen-eyed will note the manuscript on the floor in the background.)

Stage two: George makes his feelings known in his classic passive/passive style.

Stage three: Are we done yet?

Stage four: Let's get everything wet. But still: clean wet dog smells slightly better than dirty dry dog!

today with rambling

2005-07-10T08:48:00.000-05:00

Feels more like Saturday than Sunday. Woe that it's not.

Today up early (but less early than those without DVR -- who had to rise at 6:30 to catch the expanded coverage) to watch Stage 9, otherwise known as The First Day in the Real Mountains. Yesterday, Armstrong's famous team that never abandons him was nowhere to be seen on a relatively easy climb (you and I would die, is what I mean by relatively easy). Very exciting. We had breakfast burritos and now we are having tea.

It seems like people are really prickly on the web lately, in a way that's getting tiring. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm envious. (And it's not any one thing, it's sort of this pervasive sniping.) I long for a shift to cutting people a little slack, especially for things they are dashing off, for free, in their blogs or journals. I'm not advocating free passes or not reacting to things that really deserve a reaction, I'm just exhausted by the constant pouncing. It hardly seems like the best way to conduct a conversation.

Maybe this is a sign I need to scale back on the number of sites I read.

Anyway.

Lately, been reading lots of fine things: Winslow in Love by Kevin Canty (Mr. McLaren, you'll like this one); A Princess of Roumania by Paul Park (which I plan a real review of when it comes out in August); rereading Kelly's stories in the shiny new Magic for Beginners (an Editor's Choice in EW this week, with A grade, yay!); To Charles Fort, With Love by Caitlin Kiernan (a wonderful upcoming collection); and some of the stories in God Lives in St Petersburg by Tom Bissell.

I want to get to The Hummingbird's Daughter and a metric ton of other stuff. I also finally picked up Peter Turchi's Maps of the Imagination, off the glowing recommendations of Matt Cheney and others. And most exciting of all, the crafty Barb Gilly and the wiley Richard Butner gave me a bunch of old magicians' society magazines as an early birthday gift that are the most, most fun to read. (M-U-M: Magic Unity Might!) The ads are priceless. (Purchase Doves Easy or The French Arm Chopper by Grant!) They know my proclivities too well.

Really working hard on the rewrite too, and working hard in general, which is the short explanation for why the content here is crappy and sporadic lately. Also, why I rudely, obscenely rudely, owe you email. The other good news is that the Mysterious Illness and its accompanying dark cloud mood have passed. I feel entirely back to normal.

Amazingly extensive circus poster gallery at this Netherlands site.

Matt Cheney blogs Readercon (it always sounds like so much fun; maybe next year).

We got our paper tickets to Glasgow yesterday. Paper tickets, so quaint.

And here's something else. Kelly scored me a copy of Merck's 1899 Manual at BEA. It's a beautiful little object. I leave you with this:

Creosote from Beechwood, Merck.--U.S.P.

Dose: 1-3 M, gradually increased to limit of tolerance, in pills, capsules, or with wine or brandy. -- MAX. INITIAL D.: 5 M single: 15 M daily.--ANTIDOTES: Emetics, stomach pump, soluble sulphates (such as Glauber or Epsom salt).--CAUTION: Wherever Creosote is indicated for internal medication, Creosote from Beechwood should be dispensed; and under no circumstances should "Creosote from Coal Tar" be given, unless explicitly so directed. Wood Creosote and Coal-Tar Creosote differ very widely in their action on the human body: Wood Creosote is comparatively harmless; Coal-Tar Creosote decidely poisonous.--Preparation: Water (1%). MERCK'S Beechwood Creosote is aboslutely free from poisonous coerulignol found in some of the wood creosote on the market.

Stay away from Coal-Tar Creosote; you heard it here first.

wednesday hangovers

2005-07-06T18:10:00.000-05:00

Alan DeNiro's got a new story called The Centaur over at Spoiled Ink. He read this at Wiscon. Do not miss.

Oh. My. (Via.)

Jenny D on the Alternate Universe Amazon and a fantastic haunted university story.

But in the Philippines, sightings are not typically the result of sleep deprivation or intoxication. In fact, it is usually not the students who report paranormal events. It is the professors, staff members, and campus guards who see things.

Just as universities and college campuses attract the living, they are a natural gathering place for the dead, say those who follow paranormal happenings. Night watchmen say they hear instruments playing after the last people have left the music buildings.

Professors report being shaken out of their chairs when no one is there. Dead priests are said to come back to visit. Staff members and students alike say they have seen ladies in white floating down hallways. Sometimes they have heads. Sometimes they don't.

(Write that novel, Jenny. I want to read it.)

Daniel Handler has a collection coming out in January. I'm a big fan of his work for adults (and his work for kids actually). The Basic Eight and Shut Your Mouth are favorites of mine. You can find chapter one of Shut Your Mouth here. (Via Maud.)

Send Chris Barzak a birthday pressie! Everybody's doing it.

Paul Ingram likes The Historian, which basically interests me not at all.

White Women in Peril. Via Blottered.

And last but not at all least, M.J. Rose of the mad blog skillz has had a short promo film produced for her book The Halo Effect, which sounds tres interesting. I suggest you go see it and for that suggestion she's donating $5 to the Reading is Fundamental organization.

no more good ones can go

2005-07-06T17:46:00.000-05:00

Ernest Lehman has died. This makes me unaccountably, predictably sad.

Roger Thornhill: Tell me, how does a girl like you get to be a girl like you?
Eve Kendall: Lucky I guess.
Roger Thornhill: No, not lucky. Naughty, wicked, up to no good. Ever kill anyone? Because I bet you could tease a man to death without half trying. So stop trying.

(North by Northwest, but you knew that already.)

I could link for half an hour, so I won't. Read some of the scripts, which can be had by googling, or take a look at these scattered anecdotes from a 2001 issue of Written By. He was also a fantastic fiction writer, particularly short stories. Sweet Smell of Success collects some of his most successful fiction.

because everybody loves PIE

2005-07-05T20:18:00.000-05:00

You're Pecan Pie!
You're a little nutty. hehe. You don't have many
fans, but thats more because of your
independent attitude. You do things your way,
you dont change yourself to fit in. You are
good at heart, though you show a rough
exterior.

What Type of Pie are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

(Someone at Quizilla, please install a spell/grammar checker, okay? Or maybe you could just have a little monkey that proofs all the new quizzes and changes them so they're right.)

little tour links

2005-07-05T19:41:00.000-05:00

WOW, exciting team time trial today. Sad about Zabriskie's last-minute fall, but it's hard to begrudge the boys of Disco (formerly the Posties, which did roll off the tongue more nicely) a win, since they're so damn good at the TTT. They ride like a single machine. Honestly. And I hate the new uniforms. In general: too much brighty blue and white in the kits this year.

Laurie Muchnick does us all proud with a column any cycling fan would love, looking at Bob Roll's book and Armstrong's War. And she plugs a Guardian journalist I've not much read. Will remedy. I like Samuel Abt, but not the NYT pieces, the longer versions in the International Herald Tribune. An excerpt:

But Roll isn't only a clown, and his book is actually packed with useful information for the millions of people who will be watching the Tour unfold over the next three weeks, as Armstrong rides his last race and tries to increase his record from six to seven straight wins. It can be boring to watch a bike race on television if you don't know what's going on - though no more boring than watching golf, a sport that has its own dedicated channel - but once you learn a few of the basics, you'll realize that a bike race, especially one of the big three (the Tour, the Giro d'Italia and the Vuelta a Espana), is a masterpiece of strategy and that there's a lot more going on at any moment than you might be able to tell from watching a bunch of guys fly by on bikes.

Yes, this is still the books section - you haven't wandered onto the sports pages by accident - but following the Tour is an annual pleasure for me, so I grabbed the opportunity to read a few books on the subject. I've never done more than skim through Armstrong's own books; the first one was called "It's Not About the Bike," which is fine if you're looking for a memoir of surviving cancer, but not if you're interested in learning more about bike racing. His mother, Linda Armstrong Kelly, recently came out with her own book, "No Mountain High Enough," but if you ask me, that may have been when the whole Lance juggernaut jumped the shark.

(Via TEV, who has his own set of wheels.)

Eurosport delves into the history of sullied maillot jaunes (to paraphrase Phil's declaration when CSC's Zabriskie got back on the bike after his crash today).

For Zabriskie, it's a cruel twist of fate after coming back from a crash that nearly cost him his career. He still wears screws in his knee after being knocked over in 2003 by a standard utility vehicle while training near his home in Salt Lake City.

He joins the ranks of the mighty who've fallen while wearing yellow, the most tragic being Luis Ocaña whose 1971 spill in the Pyrenees nearly cost him his life. The next day, his great rival Eddy Merckx paid tribute by refusing to don the yellow jersey.

More recently, fans recall Denmark's Rolf Sörensen who lost his yellow jersey in 1989 when knocked over by the foot of the side railing in a sprint or Chris Boardman who fell in Stage 2 of the 1998 Tour.

How can you not love a sport with stories like this? And they're a dime a dozen.

(Also, they don't even know what SUV really stands for. Those Europeans. Envy.)

10 things I learned over fourth of july weekend

2005-07-05T05:58:00.000-05:00

1. Screen porches rock.

2. Kelly's madre is the best hostess in the world. This involves making fondue and pancakes and cheese grits, but also includes an intangible quality of excellence.

3. Tickets to Glasgow are expensive, but less so if you go through Canada.

4. The new War of the Worlds movie is EXHAUSTING. Seeing it brought a week's worth of accumulated mysterious illnessy tiredness crashing down. It's also not very good, despite the glowing reviews. And Tom Cruise has now achieved The Oprah Acting Effect, wherein I just keep thinking, "But really, you're batshit crazy Tom Cruise, not emoting father guy." (For Oprah, certain elements would obviously be changed, although I will never believe her as emoting father guy.)

5. Not quite as excited about Le Tour this year, but watching it helps. I am very excited about today's team time trial, which will be viewed after work. Sadly, Crazy Jane's on a time delay this year, but you can still check out the Tour de France blog for updates on all things great and spandexy.

6. The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra is excellent and will take the bad taste of Cruise aliens right out of your head. Behold Animala!

7. We heard a long interview with biographer Stacy Schiff about her new book A Great Improvisation: Franklin, France, and the Birth of America on the way home yesterday. I want to read her Exupery book and also for her and McCullough to arm wrestle over Adams and Franklin's grudges against each other.

8. You really should read Paul Park's A Princess of Roumania.

9. People stay up way too late shooting off fireworks. Don't you have jobs?! Also, it scares George.

10. Something you don't know. (But not really.)

yay!

2005-07-01T23:08:00.000-05:00

So, we are really and truly going to Glasgow. I just finally bought plane tickets. (And good thing I waited a day or two in procrastinatory hem-hawing, because they dropped four hundred bucks -- still a small fortune, but it looks a lot better when you've seen the ugly alternative.) We'll get in Wednesday morning and leave Monday morning.

CanadaAir must be running a sale, if you're still waiting to buy your tix, because that's what we're taking.

Yay!

a shameful secret

2005-07-01T17:54:00.000-05:00

While I have been working the past few months, I haven't really been rewriting Girl's Gang. I certainly haven't been keeping to the schedule I set for finishing it. Yes, yes, I finished the cutting part based on KDL's line edits back in April, but then I wrote a few new chapters of Roanoke and spent a week polishing the first one to read at Wiscon. Then I had to write this story, which didn't actually take hellishly long (as opposed to all the other short stories I've attempted), but which I had to think about for a few days before I started writing.

Anyway.

One thing I think I know (always, always qualify) is that working through all those line edits and suggestions have made me a far better editor of my own work. I found that out because I actually did finally get started on the nitty gritty rewriting bit on Girl's Gang this week. I've set myself a tentative deadline for finishing of my birthday, which is doable if the mysterious illness stays at bay and I keep up the pace I've been keeping. I'm not married to that date though. Really, I'm just relieved.

It had gotten to be a pretty big monster in my mind, you see. Even though I had a much better idea of how to go about rewriting it and what needed to happen, there's this trait that novels have when you're contemplating fixing or even just diving back into them. They get immense. They go labyrinth on you. If I go in here, how will I ever find my way back out? I'll be eaten by the witch and forced to marry Hansel. And the house won't be made of gingerbread or candy (which, if you've ever tried to eat a gingerbread house is bad enough), it'll be made of BADNESS.

But you know, mostly that's just a trick of lighting. It's a magic lantern sort of thing. It really won't kill you. It's probably going to be easier than you think, even if that still means hard as hell. It will be exhausting. It will take longer than you think, maybe. But once you start doing it it, it's gets infinitely more doable.

So, I feel good. Despite the fact that it's taking me forever to finish, I'm having fun. I'm learning. And the book is getting much better for it.

I'm not writing another word on Roanoke until GG's finished. And that's the only condition I'm going to put on myself. For his is my corollary to Scott's first rule of writing:

Finish what you finish.

p.s. I also let the house go completely to mess this week, so much so that I'm now sort of hurriedly cleaning it back to the state where it used to be most of the time. & also, the one benefit of the cat being away is that I can typey typey in bed late at night before I go to sleep, which is one of my favorite ways to work. It's like sneaking in an extra hour or something. The procrastinator's golden time, the last possible second in which anything can be accomplished on any particular day. If only someone would invent a truly soundless keyboard.

happy July

2005-07-01T05:53:00.000-05:00

A little July present from Small Beer Press:

Award-winning short story writer Kelly Link's new collection MAGIC FOR BEGINNERS (July 1, 2005, Fiction/Short Stories, $24, ISBN: 1-931520-15-1,illus. by Shelley Jackson), is being celebrated in a peculiar way by publisher Small Beer Press.

Small Beer, based out of Northampton, MA, is quite happily giving away copies of Link's debut collection STRANGER THINGS HAPPEN as a Free Download using a Creative Commons License.

Link, 35, recently found out she her story, "Stone Animals" from Conjunctions 43, has been selected for the next volume of the Best American Short Stories. Her new collection has received a starred review from Publishers Weekly -- and praise from writers such as Michael Chabon and Alice Sebold. Her stories are published in everything from literary journals (Fence), genre anthologies (The Faery Reel), zines (One Story, Say) to McSweeney's Mammoth Treasury of Thrilling Tales and have been awarded the Tiptree, World Fantasy, and Nebula Awards.

Publisher Gavin Grant, 34, says they he and Link were inspired by author and copyright activist Cory Doctorow who had put each of his books online under a Creative Commons license.

"We're a tiny independent press," said Grant. "Of course we want to explore different methods of getting our books out to readers -- and in spreading the word about Creative Commons."

He continued, "We don't expect this to kill sales. If anything (fingers crossed), it may help. After all, the book is already available in hundreds of libraries, on print.google.com, Amazon.com's Search Inside program, and even on BookCrossing. None of these programs have stopped the book from finding readers."

Readers have the choice of STRANGER THINGS HAPPEN as a Plain text, HTML, RTF, & PDF files.

Go here to download.

i'm a liar baby

2005-06-30T17:54:00.000-05:00

I have a mysterious illness and also no desire to tally the subscriptions from Mr. Rowe's email for the drawing so:

You can still subscribe until midnight tonight and be entered into the drawing.

The drawing for the prize will happen Sunday night or Monday. In other words: as soon as we get home. (I have to go to North Carolina and get Mr. Rowe, you see. And there may be some holiday shenanigans as well.)

I'll post some quizzes at UnCommonwealth for a last password hurrah before he gets access to the interweb and changes it!

Updated to add: Even a mysterious illness can be made better by a little impromptu shopping expedition. Ah, the slight tinge of guilt mixed with the joy of new clothes (on sale, of course): is there anything quite like it? Didn't think so.

what to get your nephew for xmas

2005-06-29T19:19:00.000-05:00

The newly made-over Number One Hit Song* goes to the Wired NextFest Opening and does tell:

There were those robot vacuum cleaners that everyone's so fucking hot about. And, finally, there was the Philip K Dick android.

I loved the Philip K Dick robot. It was set up in a trailer that was supposed to be his living room and was sitting on a ratty couch with top of its head missing and a bunch of wires sticking out the back. It had been loaded with every word that PKD had written or said in an interview and could answer general questions (where were you born? What's your favorite movie? Etc.) as well as talk about his work. It was fitted with face recognition software too, so it scans the crowd looking for faces and looks you right in the eye when it talks to you. That was creepy enough, but the fact that you can tell exactly how much it hated the fact that you, unlike him, were alive and not on display was didn't help. I talked to the guys who built it as I waited in line and asked them if they were ever creeped out themselves. One of them told me that as they were getting ready to bring him to Chicago (from Memphis), a cord got wrapped around the robot's arm and, as they walked away, the arm seemed to move by itself, causing him to freak out.

*Extreme Blog Makeover, coming soon to an imaginary television near you

this is timely

2005-06-29T17:54:00.000-05:00

Quinn Dalton has a piece on the dangers of anonymous fiction reviews over at Mediabistro:

I know from my limited experience with book reviewing—I've only written a couple over the past few years because it is time-consuming, and you don't get paid much, if at all—that it takes a certain amount of courage to attach one's name to a review, particularly when the verdict isn't all positive. Chalk it up to a fundamental weakness in human nature, but as a reader, I want to like the book I give my time and imagination to. Still, I'm willing to point out the flaws and failures, too, and let the readers decide whether the subject matter or the author, if an already-known entity, still attracts them enough to take their chances.

While I agree that anonymity can foster greater honesty in reviews, I believe it also combines a false image of objectivity with the freedom to go beyond honesty into gratuitous harshness. Former Kirkus reviewer Jonathan Taylor recalled how he occasionally enjoyed writing scathing reviews, and that, furthermore, "I was even happy that it was anonymous, that my opinion and my voice were cloaked in whatever institutional authority Kirkus had."

lipton vs. btk

2005-06-29T05:59:00.000-05:00

Check out this eerie photographic choice over at Blottered.

Blottered's an excellent multi-contributor blog that deals with crimes and the news stories they yield. I've been loving it ever since the wiley Ms. Weinman linked to one of her own posts there a week or so ago.